[And Sasami's trying her best to stay hidden from the cage-happy Frank and Pearl. This was getting ridiculous and this was one cabbit who didn't want to get locked up.]

Um... whoever's left? I, uh... hate to say this, but... unless anyone else has any better ideas?

[She looks nervous as she tries to stay under her hiding spot.]

I think we need to get Dr. Forrester.

[she winces as she says that, expecting the others to snap at her.]

I know it's a bad idea, but we can't let them run around and treat us like, well... eheheh...

I don't know what else to do, really!

[A young woman with dusky skin stands at the shelves in the media deck, wearing a lavender vest with a white shirt under it and a dark pleated skirt - a young woman who's never been seen on the Satellite before. Still, her colorfully-streaked hair and the fact that she's got her nose buried in a book or alternately studying her hand in minute detail probably gives a couple of very good clues about her identity.]

The human hand is so fascinating! So complex, so involved, such a miracle of biological construction! The thumb is the key to your evolution, of course - I'd read it before, but now I see exactly why that is! We get by in Ponyville, of course, we can hold things and move them, but the finely delicate work you humans are capable of is simply amazing. I never realized just how much of an impact it had until now!

[Yep, it's Twilight. As form changes go? She's all right with this one. And even though ponies don't wear clothes normally, she's learned here it's bad for humans to go around without them, so she found some pretty quickly. She looks up with a smile, closing her book but not putting it away, simply cradling it in her arms.]

I suppose not having hands is creating some problems for some of you. Does anyone need any help?

[Zidane has retreated down to the launch deck - one of the only places not affected by whatever curse this was - after spending too much time on the theatrical deck. He's currently perched in the pipework on the ceiling, probably not a surprise to anyone who knows him, but a very long trail of golden blond hair is falling almost all the way down to the floor from his perch. All in all it's over twice as long as he is tall.]

[And he just so happens to have a couple of knives.]

[...Which aren't working.]

Damnit! How did Dagger do this?

[He's used to having longer hair, but this is ridiculous. He's left the tie in to keep it all together, but his knife refuses to cut through a single strand, instead just sawing back and forth or slipping down the hair river all together. He's getting frustrated, to say the least.]

Anyone got a pair of magical scissors or something? Anything?

[It's Cambot on the media deck castle and WOAH what the hell happened here? The floor is covered in a long trail of what appears to be curly blonde hair. It's gotten to be quite a mess of tangles and even some things getting snared in it.]

I'm over here, Cambot.

[And Cambot pans over; apparently that massive train belongs to Liz, looking quite irritated as she's fussing with trying to keep her hair out of her face.]

Guys, I [pfft] seem to be having a bit of a problem here...

[Cambot won't argue that. Her hair, it's everywhere!]

Yeah yeah, very funny. Look, could I get some help down in the media deck so I can get this stuff under control?

Oh, and don't stay too long on the theater deck; I think that's what caused this; I was there all day with Zidane.

[Cambot opens on a pretty peaceful scene - Rarity has taken over a second (empty) bedroom and is putting the finishing touches on converting it into a workroom. Looks like her bedroom wasn't big enough to contain the organized chaos of a fashion studio. She's humming happily as she works, not noticing Cambot recording or the opened door...or the fact that she's no longer alone in the room. The steadily increasing number of bunnies, squirrels, and songbirds in the room goes completely unnoticed as she organizes different sewing accoutrements into boxes. She gives a satisfied nod-]

There. That should do it.

[And turns around, only to catch sight of the gaggle of animals in her studio. Cue her nearly jumping out of her skin with a cry of surprise.]

Oh! What...how...goodness, I feel like Fluttershy. What would she do with all of you, I wonder? Hmm...Well, it is worth a try.

[She sings a few very familiar notes and is rather surprised when the gathered animals hum and tweet them back at her.]

Well! Perhaps you'd like to help me organize, then?

[Cambot watches her direct the animals in further organizational tasks - the animals are surprisingly efficient - before it cuts off the feed.]

Hey guys!

So I saw this mechanical bull...

[Oh no.]

And I decided...

[No no no...]

I'm going to try it!

[NO...]

But instead of just trying it, I'm going to go all the way...for the world record! In order to beat it, I have to beat two minutes and four and a half seconds! SO!

[And with that, Cambot zooms out to reveal Minako wearing this, sitting on the bull, based for the ride. A counter suddenly appears at the bottom of the screen.]

On the count of three, Cambot! One...two...!

[Bang.

Bang!

BANG!

Cambot just caught Liz crashing through the door of her room, breaking the door down and staggering in the air a moment before catching Cambot's eye.]

Where the hell is he?

All right, everyone, I know I've been speaking a lot lately on the network, but I think given what we now know, its time to start looking for the item that brought us here. Unfortunately, Joel Robinson couldn't tell me where he put it - just that it was somewhere here. He didn't remember anything else.

What I'm going to need are a few people willing to go through each deck with me. Given what we know about the ship, and what's on each deck, some decks may take longer than others. If you're interested, meet me on the athletics deck in an hour so we can organize search parties. The Toms on deck 9 have offered to help us, so it might be quicker.

Minako out.

[And...wait. Wait. Minako is...acting rather odd...or maybe she isn't. For some reason it feels oddly logical that she'd suddenly be serious. Somehow. Maybe.]

[Linkara. Cambot. Futon. He doesn't look too terribly amused.]

This week's shenanigans look pretty scattered, right? I mean, we have some people seeing dead people, or ghosts, or possibly sharing hallucinations - whatever you want to call it. On top of that, Terra suddenly has super strength and Riku's afraid of red. [Yep, somebody's been keeping up on what's going on over Cambot.]

It does look pretty random...until you remember that the Mads' special guest during their last transmission was M. Night Shyamalan. Those of you who know who he is probably have a good idea of what's coming next, or at least have a few guesses. Those of you who don't...well, the mermaid in the pool might be friendly but I wouldn't risk it, don't go near the elevators, and stay off the nature deck.

[There's another scream echoing down the halls of the SOL, another feminine scream - one might be forgiven for thinking Minako's at it again. But no, it's Twilight, running full-tilt down the hall and screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by a... Tom Servo in a brilliant red dress, calling after her almost pleadingly.]

They told me you wanted to dance the tango! Why don't you want to?

STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME! I'LL KICK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK IF YOU DON'T!

[Cambot turns to track them as they blaze past and continue on down the hall.]

But we're meant to, don't you see?!

GET AWAY! GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

[...Just another day on the SOL.]

[Luna's flopped down on her side on the nature deck. Her mane isn't as... floaty as usual. It takes her a while to notice the Cambot.]

Oh, t'is thee.

[She stretches a little and gives a tiny shrug.]

[Terra stood in the hallway holding the door to his room and staring at it with wide eyes. He stares at it for a long time before slowly looking up at the Cambot]

...I think I broke my door.

[He looks back down at the door then turns and attempts to gently set it up against the wall...only instead of it doing that he ends up putting a dent in the metal wall and causing the top of the door to crumple. Terra stares at this for a moment then turns back to the Cambot]

Uhh...sorry, I'll try to fix...that.

[Poor Terra is so confused as to who he is even DOING that]

[Liz just managed to catch this Cambot's attention in the hallway. She looks...a strange combination of amused and wary. That's always a good sign, right?]

Hey guys, just warning you now...if you didn't know, today's April Fools' Day, it's supposed to be about pulling tricks on your friends and stuff. And...knowing Pinkie Pie at least, I think there's already a bit of--

[90s Kid's voice suddenly comes from off camera] Think fast, Dudette!

Oh fu--

[She doesn't react in time to avoid a hasily-tied cloth bag hitting her square in the face. There's a puff of dust and Liz is covered in powder. She blinks once before realizing what she just got hit with...when she sneezes. And sneezes again. And again. She kind of can't stop sneezing for a while as 90s Kid laughs off-camera.]

Why you little--[she sneezes again and scrabbles off-camera after him] Come back here!

[Gypsy comes on camera...she looks a little concerned, or at least as concerned as a one-eyed robot can look.]

Umm. Hello, guys? It looks like someone messed with some stuff on the time machine and now it’s working again.

Just be real careful around it, okay? The time machine can be real tricky. There’s no telling what’ll happen with that thing!

Okay, just wanted to let you kids know. Stay safe!

[Perry snags a Cambot. He looks troubled, and maybe a little panicked. Most are probably used to the green pony being silent, well, now he has Harvey's voice.]

Hey, hello? I know things are crazy enough but that weirdo Discord guy has given me some guy's voice. I don't want it. It's a nice voice, don't get me wrong, but there's something to be said for the silent type.

So who's is it? I dunno how to give it back, but I figure our first step is taking HIM out.

[Up in the cockpit, there’s a sudden flash of lightning and a burst of pink smoke...and out of the smoke emerges a strange, haphazard creature. It looks to be part pony, part lion, part dragon and part deer...and all smug smiles.]

Hell-O, everypony! Although, I suppose here, not everypony is even a pony, hmm? Now isn’t that fascinating...

I suppose I should introduce myself...I’m Discord, lord of chaos! I just happened to be passing by this part of the cosmos, when I couldn’t help noticing all this splendid chaos you have going on up here! I just had to come along and contribute what little I could.

Who’s causing all this bee-you-tiful disharmony, you may ask? Well, it’s not me, and it’s not Joe! I wonder who...or what...it could possibly be!


[As soon as Discord shows up, even more chaos spreads around the SOL...it starts raining chocolate milk on the nature deck, the food synthesizer only puts out unpopped popcorn and anchovies, and the media deck is now entirely upside-down. This chaos will continue to escalate, even affecting characters’ personalities for the worse, unless your characters find a way to stop Discord!]

GREETINGS, LOYAL SUBJECTS!

Your princess bids you good day and is pleased to have acquired so many new, faithful subjects in a single day. We do hope that those of you who are used to two legs can manage with four.

As this place is among the stars, t'is the perfect kingdom for the Princess of the Night! However, the name is not fitting at all. Hm... We shall have to think of a new name.

IN GOOD TIME!

For now, we welcome you all to our kingdom! Do not hesitate to ask if there are any questions. We are also open to suggestions for names. We are entertaining the name "Lunaria"!

[Immediately on the heels of this conversation, Ven gets to pose his question to a roving Cambot.]

What's sex? Terra and Aqua don't want to tell me.

[Cambot has found yet another human-vs-doppleganger conflict. This time it’s Xion facing off against her double on the weapons deck. It looks like the fight is well underway--Xion’s hood has fallen back to reveal her face, and her sword is drawn. So is her shadow’s, and it looks like they’re taking a moment to size each other up, circling as they catch their breath. The shadow hisses something that makes Xion smile mirthlessly.]

If I’m a copy and a fake, then what does that make you? A copy of a copy? A fake’s shadow?

[She lunges to attack, and the shadow blocks. This pattern continues until the shadow sees an opening and strikes to land a hit on Xion’s arm. She jumps back, sword raised to block any other attacks. The shadow laughs and hisses again. Xion’s expression goes from serious to downright angry.]

We may not have been meant to exist...we may not have had hearts...but we were friends anyway.

[The shadow pulls a face and goes on the offensive, forcing Xion to block. The next time the two stop to rest, they’ve both got their share of cuts and bruises. The shadow hisses again, and Xion goes still, her expression disturbingly blank and hard.]

I did what I had to to keep him safe. Even if it was only for a little while.

[The shadow barely has time for an “oh crap” expression before Xion rains fury down on it, eventually knocking its sword out of its hands. It manages to rake its claws down the side of her face, barely missing her eye, before she runs it through and it fades.

Shaking, Xion drops her sword and slumps to the ground, face in her hands. When she has a better grip on herself, she looks up and sees Cambot.]

How long have you been here?

[The video shows Rarity, looking very mussed - which isn't like her at all - and rather scuffed, as though she's just come out the worse in a less than ideal situation...but that couldn't be the case, could it?]

[She runs a hoof over her mane, frowning at the ruined curls.]

Well, that certainly didn't turn out well. [She glances up] You weren't broadcasting any of that, were you?

[Cambot pans side to side - that would be a no.]

Oh, good. I would not have wanted anypony to see that. Now, if you could please stay off until after I've taken care of the mess that awful thing made of my coiffure, I would appreciate it.

[Cambot pans side to side again, and Rarity pauses.]

What do you mean, no? You- you're not broadcasting now, are you?

[Cambot pans up and down this time. Yes, he is. If it was possible for Rarity to look even more agitated, she's certainly doing it now.]

Cambot, we discussed this! You need to give a lady warning before you start showing her off for all the world to see! It's rather rude! [She sighs, a bit defeated.] But it's a bit late for that now, isn't it.

[She sighs again, and there's a long pause before she begins speaking again.] Aqua, I happened to run across your shade, and...well, she's rather nasty, and very protective of her kneecaps. Do be careful if you see her.

[She starts heading back to her room to go soothe her wounded pride and nurse her somewhat banged up hind legs. They're not too bad, luckily, but evidently she hadn't been kidding about Aqua's shade.]