Third Report

[sailormagic]

[There's another scream echoing down the halls of the SOL, another feminine scream - one might be forgiven for thinking Minako's at it again. But no, it's Twilight, running full-tilt down the hall and screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by a... Tom Servo in a brilliant red dress, calling after her almost pleadingly.]

They told me you wanted to dance the tango! Why don't you want to?

STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME! I'LL KICK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK IF YOU DON'T!

[Cambot turns to track them as they blaze past and continue on down the hall.]

But we're meant to, don't you see?!

GET AWAY! GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

[...Just another day on the SOL.]

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

RUN, TWILIGHT, RUUUUUUUN!

[sailormagic]

PINKIE GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[Running she is, indeed she is!]

[sailorlaughter]

Okie-dokie-lokie!

HEY TOM! I'LL DANCE WITH YOU!

[sailormagic]

You will? Pinkie, you wonderful creature you! This one is too scared for some reason!

YOU ARE WEARING THE DEATH COLOR!

[sailorlaughter]

Aw, how come, Twilight? You're a great dancer! [Yep totally ignoring the death color thing.]

[sailormagic]

THIS ISN'T ABOUT DANCING THIS IS ABOUT RED! RED IS EVIL, RUN!

[sailorlaughter]

[Pinkie stops. Blinks at Tom. Then giggles.] Oh, you're so silly, Twilight!

[sailormagic]

I'M! NOT! JOKING! RED IS EVIL AND YOU HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM IT AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!

[sailorlaughter]

Well, that's silly! Apples are red! And so is Big Mac! And Applebloom's mane! And Dashie's mane too, but only a little bit of it right here... [This may go on for a while.]

[sailormuffins]

Hi, Twilight!! What are you doing?

[What fear?]

[sailormagic]

RUN DERPY RUN, BEFORE IT GETS YOU TOO!

[See that purple-colored streak passing you by? YUP, THAT'S TWILIGHT!]

[sailormuffins]

...Ok!

[She...stays where she is. Right now, she has no idea why Twilight is running!]

[sailormagic]

[Well she's off down the hall, still screaming! Follow her?]

[buildingproblem]

...Well, that image is seared into my mind.

Need help with amorous robots Twilight?

[sailormagic]

HARRY! HARRY GET THAT DRESS OFF OF IT!

But I need this dress to tango!

[buildingproblem]

...Yeah, for the good of all humanity and pony-anity, the dress has to die.

I'm on my way.

[Amazing how fast you can move on long legs. Harry races down the halls and does a baseball slide into the hallway in front of her, holding a strange device]

Duck!

[sailormagic]

[Twi does better than that - she charges forward a little more, then allows her hooves to go out from under her as she ducks under Harry's... device. She slides down the hall low to the ground as the Servo keeps following her, right into Harry's path.]

[buildingproblem]

[There's a strange, almost sinister, humming from the gadget as Harry pulls the trigger, and just as Twilight dodges a massive ball of energy bursts out of the nozzle with enough kickback to stagger Harry.

The energy orb flies down the hallway to slam right into the dance crazed robot, throwing up a swirling vortex of energy that subsides to reveal Tom redressed in a fedora and trench coat.]

Huh, so that's what that setting was.

[beforetheflame]

... 'Fraid of dancing?

[sailormagic]

No, that- [HAVE A REALLY LOUD, GASPING SCREAM LEA]

YOUR HAIR!

[beforetheflame]

[Back off, scratches his ear.]

Geeze! Any louder and you'll blow up this ships' windows.

[Perks an eyebrow.]

My hair? What about it?

[sailormagic]

YOUR HAIR! IT'S EVIL! QUICK, GET RID OF IT QUICK BEFORE IT KILLS YOU!

[Yeah, that volume isn't going down.]

[beforetheflame]

... My hair is evil.

... And it's going to kill me...

[punsofiron]

...that's new.

[Is this a bad time to mention that the lettering on Liz's shirt is red?]

[sailormagic]

[Yes. If Cambot can show it, then it's a very bad time to mention that.]

IT'S GOING TO DIE AND- AAAAAAAAAAAH! SO ARE YOU!

[punsofiron]

...I'm not going to die, Twilight. What are you talking about?

[...if this has something to do with Mr. M. Night, she's going to facepalm big time.]

[sailormagic]

Your shirt! THERE IS RED ON YOUR SHIRT! GET RID OF IT!

[Yooouuu got it!]

[punsofiron]

[Yup. Facepalm time.]

That's always been there, Twi.

[sailormagic]

BUT NOW IT'S GOING TO KILL YOU!

[She'd understand the significance of the facehoof if she were a little more coherent, considering she's done it herself more than once.]