[Oh dear god who let Twilight into the cafeteria deck. Anyone going in there might find bowls - not cups mind you, or glasses, bowls - stacked on the counters, most of them with drops of dark liquid at the bottom. What in the...]

[As for Twilight herself, well... She's discovered what her power for this week is, after pulling an all-nighter reading and then downing six cereal bowls' worth of coffee.]

[Teleportation.]

Oh my goodness this is great isn't this so great [pop] I just think it's great I mean it's not all my magic but it's some of it [pop] and I haven't been able to do this in FOREVER [pop] and I can wink out here and be over here in a flash and oh dear I want to [pop] know EVERYTHING about what you all can do right now did you [pop] get something back that you already knew or is it completely random because [pop] I can do a lot more than this with my magic at home but here [pop] I'll take what I can get oh I can go REORGANIZE THE LIBRARY because it's not [pop] organized enough we can do so much more to make it efficient [pop] and I'm just the pony for the job because everypony knows I'm the most organized pony in Ponyville [pop] or even Canterlot or maybe even Equestria and everything is exactly where it should be [pop] in its own place and not in something else's place because that would be disorganized of course so it [pop] has its own place oh I can organize all your rooms I'm sure some of them are DREADFUL and Rarity can help me because she has such an eye for [pop] style so you won't even know your rooms at all anymore [pop] and maybe we could even paint them so what colors do you all want for your rooms [pop] OH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT I was going to [pop] paint the library quick everypony I need your help moving the shelves since I can't levitate things now [pop] but maybe I'll be able to in the future [pop] if we're finally getting our abilities back but you have to make sure to [pop] keep the books in order because if I have to reorganize them AGAIN [pop] it will be chaos but just as long as everypony keeps every item exactly where it is [pop] everything will be fine and we won't have to worry now doesn't that sound great?!

[Every couple of seconds she winks out of one spot only to repear in another part of the satellite, always within view of a Cambot, because she's literally not stopping her movement and she keeps nearly crashing into walls until the very end when she comes to a screeching halt and looks directly into the camera with a big, disturbing grin. Apparently the coffee does things to her brain. Harry Dresden has had one last revenge on the Satellite of Love.]

[...Yeeeeaaaah.]

[Pop. She's gone in a puff of magenta smoke, only to reappear somewhere else again. Where is that? Wherever you happen to be. Be warned, if she lands near you (or on top of you), you will be getting 7,235 questions about what your current situaiton is. She will start to slow down pretty quickly as she crashes from the caffeine buzz, though.]

[A young woman with dusky skin stands at the shelves in the media deck, wearing a lavender vest with a white shirt under it and a dark pleated skirt - a young woman who's never been seen on the Satellite before. Still, her colorfully-streaked hair and the fact that she's got her nose buried in a book or alternately studying her hand in minute detail probably gives a couple of very good clues about her identity.]

The human hand is so fascinating! So complex, so involved, such a miracle of biological construction! The thumb is the key to your evolution, of course - I'd read it before, but now I see exactly why that is! We get by in Ponyville, of course, we can hold things and move them, but the finely delicate work you humans are capable of is simply amazing. I never realized just how much of an impact it had until now!

[Yep, it's Twilight. As form changes go? She's all right with this one. And even though ponies don't wear clothes normally, she's learned here it's bad for humans to go around without them, so she found some pretty quickly. She looks up with a smile, closing her book but not putting it away, simply cradling it in her arms.]

I suppose not having hands is creating some problems for some of you. Does anyone need any help?

Everyone! I have some good news!

[The Cambot pulls back from Twilight's face to show off the room she happens to be standing in - predictably, the media deck. But there's something different about it now...]

Now that we aren't all those creatures anymore, I've finally managed to finish reorganizing the library! The books we acquired with the time machine are separated from the... stories that were here earlier, and I boxed up the more ridiculous ones of those as well. Cambot, if you'll follow me, please.

[Cambot pans around to show the library, and while the layout isn't different, there are obviously several new books in several of the cases. Authors such as Plato and Jane Austin and Stephen King can be seen. There's even a little pony-bed tucked in the corner of that section of the room (yes, she's sleeping there now, was there any question?) that you can see if you crane your head sharply enough.]

This first part here is for the new literature. Everything is arranged alphabetically by author, and within each author is organized alphabetically by title. Now that we know the machine works reliably, I believe it would be reasonable to start a request list. When it gets to a certain size, we can send a group to acquire those books and add them to the collection here. We'll have to make sure not to overlap times, but I'll be making a calendar to keep all of our trips straight so we don't lose anyone. Just remember, the books have to be before the year it is here, so nothing from after 1995! Now, for the next set...

[It goes against every bone in Twi's body to destroy a written work, no matter how bad it is, but she can get rid of it in another way. Other shelves... other shelves have had their edges painted yellow, with black stripes on top, like caution tape. Crates with "DANGER" written across them in red are stacked next to those against one of the blank walls.]

Now, this is the set of works that was here when we came. The ones still on the shelves are the ones that aren't... quite as bad, while the ones in the crates are the ones that are horrific. I didn't want to get rid of them, but we can do our best to make sure no one stumbles across them by accident. And here's our centerpiece!

[A book stand is set up in the center of the room, at a good height for a pony but perhaps a bit low for a human, with two books atop it. Twilight stops next to it, looking very satisfied with herself, raising a hoof to rest on one of the covers.]

Theo and Dan are here to help you with anything you need!

[There's another scream echoing down the halls of the SOL, another feminine scream - one might be forgiven for thinking Minako's at it again. But no, it's Twilight, running full-tilt down the hall and screaming at the top of her lungs, followed by a... Tom Servo in a brilliant red dress, calling after her almost pleadingly.]

They told me you wanted to dance the tango! Why don't you want to?

STOP! GET AWAY FROM ME! I'LL KICK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK IF YOU DON'T!

[Cambot turns to track them as they blaze past and continue on down the hall.]

But we're meant to, don't you see?!

GET AWAY! GET AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

[...Just another day on the SOL.]

[Have another pony, guys. You'd be forgiven for believing that this was a new arrival, considering the color scheme is different than any currently on the SOL and the cutie mark is also new, but no, she's been here for a little while. And she looks disgruntled.]

This isn't funny! Why do I look like my mom? She's a really good mom, but- I don't want to be my mom!

[There's a long-suffering sigh after that, and the pony goes quiet for a few moments before speaking up again.]

Unfortunately, there's nothing we can do to fix this for now. If we try to change our appearances, something makes it go back to what this satellite appears to want us to look like right now. I wouldn't try it; it would only be a waste of time.

[...Yes. Yes, she did try to dye herself purple again. It failed.]

[Cambot's moving up to deck 7 from deck 6, it catches sound of some strangled noises that are coming from farther down the deck, around one of the bookshelves. Moving slowly in case of any incoming laser-attacks, Cambot circles around the shelf... and pauses.]

[There's a mess of papers spread out on the floor, not even a nest so much as a mountain that seem to be pages from scripts and various other looseleafs. Even in this state, she would not shred a book - but there are books there as well, open and dumped around and generally looking bad. Almost all of the pages visible have many, many, many red markings on them, scribbles and X-es and arrows and giant ovals and every possible combination of editing mark you can think of. In the middle of this, there is a purple unicorn, her mane a little messed up and her eyes a little crazed, sort of curled in around herself. She seems to be muttering something, and Cambot slowly drifts forward to try and catch it...]

-promise, I promise, I won't let them get you! Nothing can hurt you ever again, I swear! No one will ever harm you! I'll take care of you until the end of time-

[What's she speaking to? ...The thesaurus and dictionary she's clutching to her body protectively, as if they're wounded children. And to Twilight, they are.]

[Hello, viewers, please enjoy this image of an enormous green eye. Apparently some creature (reptilian in nature, judging by the snake-like pupil) is leaning super close to Cambot to peer at his lens. Blink, blink. After a second, he leans away and scratches his head, revealing himself to be a small purple dragon, riding on the back of a purple pony. Just another day on the Satellite of Love.] Uh, hey, Twilight?

[The aforementioned pony seems to have her nose buried in a long scroll of parchment.] So after we go pick up the new quills and parchment, we can stop by Sugarcube Corner and see if we can get some pastries for our next party, and then we'll need to go out to Sweet Apple Acres and help Applejack measure the foundation for that new storage cellar she wants to put in.

[The dragon tugs gently on Twilight's mane to get her attention.] Yeah, okay, but Twilight?

Oh, and Cheerilee wanted to talk to us about coming in and demonstrating some magic for her younger students and she has all those books to return so we might as well pick them up while we're over there, and once we get home we need to reorganize at least the Classics section and possibly Modern Spellcasting as well because someone got into them and messed everything up and nothing's where it should be anymore.

[Tugging gently has been upgraded to tugging not so gently.] Kinda need you to see this...

And the globe needs polishing, and the floor needs to be scrubbed again, and I think our clock might be thirty seconds too fast --

TWILIGHT!! [Finally he gives up and snatches the to-do list away from her.]

What is it, Spi-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIhhhhhhhhhhhhk! [Her eyes go almost as wide as her head as her breath is sucked completely out of her body at what she's seeing.]

Yyyyyyeah. [And Spike just deadpans it:] I think we're lost.


((Double intro post! Expect responses from both Spike and Twilight (sailormagic). \o/))