[Oh dear god who let Twilight into the cafeteria deck. Anyone going in there might find bowls - not cups mind you, or glasses, bowls - stacked on the counters, most of them with drops of dark liquid at the bottom. What in the...]

[As for Twilight herself, well... She's discovered what her power for this week is, after pulling an all-nighter reading and then downing six cereal bowls' worth of coffee.]

[Teleportation.]

Oh my goodness this is great isn't this so great [pop] I just think it's great I mean it's not all my magic but it's some of it [pop] and I haven't been able to do this in FOREVER [pop] and I can wink out here and be over here in a flash and oh dear I want to [pop] know EVERYTHING about what you all can do right now did you [pop] get something back that you already knew or is it completely random because [pop] I can do a lot more than this with my magic at home but here [pop] I'll take what I can get oh I can go REORGANIZE THE LIBRARY because it's not [pop] organized enough we can do so much more to make it efficient [pop] and I'm just the pony for the job because everypony knows I'm the most organized pony in Ponyville [pop] or even Canterlot or maybe even Equestria and everything is exactly where it should be [pop] in its own place and not in something else's place because that would be disorganized of course so it [pop] has its own place oh I can organize all your rooms I'm sure some of them are DREADFUL and Rarity can help me because she has such an eye for [pop] style so you won't even know your rooms at all anymore [pop] and maybe we could even paint them so what colors do you all want for your rooms [pop] OH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT I was going to [pop] paint the library quick everypony I need your help moving the shelves since I can't levitate things now [pop] but maybe I'll be able to in the future [pop] if we're finally getting our abilities back but you have to make sure to [pop] keep the books in order because if I have to reorganize them AGAIN [pop] it will be chaos but just as long as everypony keeps every item exactly where it is [pop] everything will be fine and we won't have to worry now doesn't that sound great?!

[Every couple of seconds she winks out of one spot only to repear in another part of the satellite, always within view of a Cambot, because she's literally not stopping her movement and she keeps nearly crashing into walls until the very end when she comes to a screeching halt and looks directly into the camera with a big, disturbing grin. Apparently the coffee does things to her brain. Harry Dresden has had one last revenge on the Satellite of Love.]

[...Yeeeeaaaah.]

[Pop. She's gone in a puff of magenta smoke, only to reappear somewhere else again. Where is that? Wherever you happen to be. Be warned, if she lands near you (or on top of you), you will be getting 7,235 questions about what your current situaiton is. She will start to slow down pretty quickly as she crashes from the caffeine buzz, though.]

[When Cambot turns on it's... well, on a very strange scene. It's the cafeteria all right, done up in the violently girly scheme of the week, but a few of the tables have been pushed together in the center of the room and used as a dumping ground for a very, very large pile of completely random assorted small objects. There's dice, there's hats, there's pens and pencils, at least one paintbrush, several keychains, multiple wallets, a couple of hats, a pair of goggles, sewing supplies, fabric scraps, restorative potions, at least two masks, some business cards, one very beat up and destroyed-looking pony-shaped doll, watches, some small American flags and flag pins, two wristbands, a few rings, some bracelets, wrapped field rations, a couple of small plushies, quills, a pair of sunglasses, bits of wire, a small screwdriver, an elaborate tiara with a purple gem centered on the front, a smaller black tiara, and at least seven socks, three bras, and six pairs of panties. For some reason there are no boxer shorts. For some reason..]

[And hanging off to the side is a young teenage boy with a resigned look on his face - hanging upside down by his ankles being tied to a pipe in the ceiling, that is. He's also been splashed all over with various colors of paint with glitter mixed throughout, though whoever did this to him was considerate enough to actually paint his face a rainbow riot and not splash that so he didn't choke. And if the paint and glitter weren't enough, there is a ridiculous assortment of every single kind of Lisa Frank sticker basically embedded in the paint all over him, except on his exposed skin. He's wearing pants and long sleeves under all the paint just for that purpose. He's been allowed to keep the mask on to preserve his "secret identity," but Robin's not too thrilled with the fact that he's got robotic company now, even though he knew he'd be found sooner or later.]

...You just had to show up now, didn't you.

[Looks like someone is sitting by themselves on the Cafeteria deck, looking none-too-pleased. One might think it's because of a need to use the restroom, given the small mountain of juice boxes next to her, but, no, when she finally notices Cambot, it becomes far more apparent the source of her malady.

She's sober.]

...I think the fermenting process on this replication doohickey is busted. Either that or I ended up in a bad anime dub. This is the least appetizing wine I've ever had.

[Someone care to tell the new arrival that even when wine comes in boxes, those boxes don't have their own individual bendy straws?]

[Hey, its...Minako? It might be, but she looks different, with insanely long hair to boot. And a bit glum, as she is reading a letter in her room.]

"Dear Minako Aino, we thank you for your submission for the Guinness Book of World Records and that you worked hard to break the record for longest mechanical bull ride. However, due to the lack of a Guinness-appointed officiator during the proceedings we must decline your entry into"...buuuh. Not fair! I stayed on that thing for six minutes for nothing!

[She huffs as an animal brushes her hair and puts myrtle garlands in it. And we're not talking small woodfield animals attending to her, by the way. There are cows, dolphins, doves, sparrows, swans, lions, horses, vultures, snakes, and sphinxes all around her.


...Speaking of horses, also some of the ponies on the ship might feel oddly compelled to come and do things for her. Just as a warning.]

...I feel like singing something depressing. You guys don't mind, do you? Ok.



~Hey, as I sleep in the nigh-

[*KSHHHHHHH*]

[Cambot is showing...the ceiling. Yep. It's a nice view of the ceiling.]

You know, I don't even think you're trying anymore. I mean, my Inator is really big this time. It's kind of hard to miss it. You have to be doing this on purpose. Maybe I should make a QuitMissingYourCuesinator and stick it on you somewhere-

[Cambot turns in a hurry to reveal - what else? - Doof with a large object covered with a white sheet behind him. Must be Tuesday.]

There! See, if you'd just do that from the beginning, I wouldn't have to build extra Inators and it works out for everyone.

Now, I know I haven't said anything in a while, and- and there's a reason for that! I'm getting to that. It mostly has to do with really weird dreams, and being a squirrel-raccoon thing that didn't really have opposable thumbs - which actually wasn't part of the dream! Weird, huh? Anyway, it really cut into my inventing time, so I haven't actually managed to make anything recently - and I'm sure some of you like that. [WE'RE NOT BITTER OR ANYTHING, NOPE]

But then all this Western stuff showed up, and while it didn't exactly give me an idea, it did remind me of a certain clause in my L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. contract. [He pulls a piece of paper out of...somewhere...and holds it up.] Page 493, subsection...whatever. [And there the paper goes, tossed over his shoulder.] Anyway, the point is that whenever an evil scientist - that's me - finds himself in a Wild West sort of place - that's here - there's a certain style we have to follow. It's a contractual obligation sort of thing. Now, it's not exactly to scale, since this is kind of an enclosed space and all, but I still expect you to cower in fear, okay? Okay.

Now. BEHOLD, SATELLITE OF LOVE!

[He grabs the edge of the cloth and yanks it off the Inator - for once, Cambot is on task and records the whole thing, though it does have to zoom out to get some of this. The sheet is whisked off to reveal a giant mechanical spider with a seat and control panel where the thorax would be. The spider's only about four feet tall and looks like it would barely be able to fit in the halls - it's as giant as it can be while still fitting in the Satellite. Doof makes a grand, sweeping gesture, obviously proud of his handiwork.]

The Arachninator! See, it's a giant spider, and the idea is that I ride around in it and take over everything! Like this. [He climbs in the seat and starts it up.] BEWARE, SATELLITE OF LOVE, for Heinz Doofenshmirtz is coming to RULE YOU ALL!

[And with that, the giant spider with him perched in the seat skitters out the door and down the hall. Surprising how something that big can move that quickly.]

[[If you don't get the contractual obligation, go google Wild Wild West. Aside from that, there is a giant mechanical spider and evil scientist heading down the halls. Feel free to try to waylay him. Have fun with that.]]

[And after a few weeks of a certain person seemingly not being around, a Cambot happens to spot a familiar sight - a blue-haired kid with big, pink eyes. She's busy looking around the place, almost in familiarity.]

This place... i-it's the Satellite again, isn't it? I'm back on...

Oh, no...

Namine? Twilight? Spike? Anyone? Is anyone still here? I-I'm back! I'm sorry for leaving! I-I didn't know it would send me back! Please tell me someone's here...

...please?

[She seems worried - what if she came back and everyone else went home?

Despite the fact that, oh, it's madness as usual in here again.]

Hey guys!

So I saw this mechanical bull...

[Oh no.]

And I decided...

[No no no...]

I'm going to try it!

[NO...]

But instead of just trying it, I'm going to go all the way...for the world record! In order to beat it, I have to beat two minutes and four and a half seconds! SO!

[And with that, Cambot zooms out to reveal Minako wearing this, sitting on the bull, based for the ride. A counter suddenly appears at the bottom of the screen.]

On the count of three, Cambot! One...two...!

[...Yes, what is in the icon is exactly what is going on. A six-inch Derpy somewhere on the ship, balancing a giant actually normal sized muffin on her head.

There's really no better way to describe this scene Cambot is showing.]

Ok, everyone! I'm ready for saving the ship from the iceberg!!

[Tom and Crow appear on the Cambot together...seems like they're pretty excited about something.]

Crow: Hey! Hey! You see that guy in Dr. F's transmission? It looked just like Joel!

Tom: Kinda sounded just like him, too!

Crow: Waaaaait...does that mean Joel's a Mad now, too?

Tom: Well, maybe it is! Always knew there was something weird about that guy!

Crow: I thought it was his eyelids, personally.

Tom: No, those were just abnormally large.

Crow: That'd still count as weird, don't you think?

Tom: Yes, but the question is, is that mad scientist weird?

Crow: I dunno...guess we'd have to ask a mad scientist!

Tom: Rrrrrright!
...So what were we talking about, again?

Okay... I think I'm ready.

[A couple of days after Terra threw any and all dignity out the window, Ven is ready to accept his challenge. He would've done it sooner, but he wanted to find something impressive. And, well, whatever's controlling the media deck seems to like this certain performer...though how he changes colors through the clips he sees, Ven has no idea.]

[So he's up on the theatrical deck, having cleared a fairly good amount of space on the stage. He's dressed in a manner that's not exactly 80s but might look familiar to some - complete with hat tilted down over his face. He likes that hat. And while normally he wouldn't push himself out in the public eye like this, someone has to make up for Terra's bad taste in dances. The music slowly fades in, and Ven... dances. And sings. And he's... actually really good at this. It's possible he's even more intelligable than the original singer, and he's matching the dance steps almost perfectly. This being Ven there's no hands straying towards the crotch area and that lean is freakin' impossible to pull off without tools, but other than that? Pretty much dead-on.]

[Four minutes later the song ends with him singing the last line and spinning on the balls of his feet, looking into the Cambot and breathing kind of hard. It wasn't easy, but it feels pretty damn good to have accomplished that, and he can't help but break into a grin and literally jump off the ground, jabbing his fist into the air at the same time.]

YES!

[Cambot's moving up to deck 7 from deck 6, it catches sound of some strangled noises that are coming from farther down the deck, around one of the bookshelves. Moving slowly in case of any incoming laser-attacks, Cambot circles around the shelf... and pauses.]

[There's a mess of papers spread out on the floor, not even a nest so much as a mountain that seem to be pages from scripts and various other looseleafs. Even in this state, she would not shred a book - but there are books there as well, open and dumped around and generally looking bad. Almost all of the pages visible have many, many, many red markings on them, scribbles and X-es and arrows and giant ovals and every possible combination of editing mark you can think of. In the middle of this, there is a purple unicorn, her mane a little messed up and her eyes a little crazed, sort of curled in around herself. She seems to be muttering something, and Cambot slowly drifts forward to try and catch it...]

-promise, I promise, I won't let them get you! Nothing can hurt you ever again, I swear! No one will ever harm you! I'll take care of you until the end of time-

[What's she speaking to? ...The thesaurus and dictionary she's clutching to her body protectively, as if they're wounded children. And to Twilight, they are.]

[Well, looks like Wilykit's figured out how to make it to the cafeteria without breaking her neck on the way down. Yay for her!]

Are you recording yet?

[Cambot briefly bobs up and down.]

Okay, good! So I was talking to Mike the other day, and he wondered whether our current circumstances meant we were all gonna have to go vegetarian until we change back. Well, in the name of hopefully not having to eat nothing but greens three meals a day, I'm about to find out!

[One would think that having a mouth full of teeth made for grinding plant matter and not for tearing meat would answer that, but who cares?

Cambot zooms in on a delicious-looking ham and cheese sandwich, lovingly prepared by the replicators for this experiment.]

Here goes!

[Um... hmm. Okay, picking the sandwich up is a lot harder when you don't actually have hands. After a few seconds of trying, Wilykit gives up and just leans in to take a bite.]

Ha! See? It's perfectly... urk...

[Wilykit turns faintly green and races off to go lean over the nearest wastebin. Thankfully, Cambot doesn't follow her to record what comes next.]

GREETINGS, LOYAL SUBJECTS!

Your princess bids you good day and is pleased to have acquired so many new, faithful subjects in a single day. We do hope that those of you who are used to two legs can manage with four.

As this place is among the stars, t'is the perfect kingdom for the Princess of the Night! However, the name is not fitting at all. Hm... We shall have to think of a new name.

IN GOOD TIME!

For now, we welcome you all to our kingdom! Do not hesitate to ask if there are any questions. We are also open to suggestions for names. We are entertaining the name "Lunaria"!

[Hey, look! It's another little pony! And she's looking mildly panicked for some reason.]

I just want to make one thing perfectly clear: whatever caused this, I didn't do it!

[Beat.]

...Sorry, force of habit. Just go ahead and ignore that, okay?

Anyway, this is... new. Learning to walk on all fours is definitely gonna take some getting used to.

I take it this is the sort of crazy weird stuff that tends to happen around here?

Sooo... A little birdie told me there's some sorta space truck around here. Anyone know where I might find that?

[Cambot picks up his feed on the costume deck, if the surprisingly neat piles of clothes are any indication. Prominent in the foreground are the trademark black Organization coat, with matching pants and other articles of clothing along with. A figure - Lexaeus, given the height and size of him - is bending into a cabinet that seems to be a jumble of clothes.]

[Cambot brushes a pile of clothes and it topples over; Lexaeus straightens too quickly and bumps his head, bringing a shower of Bellarian accoutrements, wigs, props, and other things down on his head. He turns to see who made the noise.]

[And, well.]

( [So THAT'S where the Fabio wigs were.] )

[For the most part, Sasami had been lucky. Unlike the others, she hadn't encountered her shade. Maybe she was lucky - maybe with her showing up so late, one wouldn't show up! That wouldn't be the case as she was walking down the hall, she stopped in surprise. Her Cambot pans up to show a complete duplicate of Sasami in front of them, though with a few differences - the shading, the evil and utterly opposite look on her face and the fact that she's holding on to a mop.]

Y... you're me! [the shade nods and speaks. Smart girl] What do you want? L-Leave me alone! [the shade shakes her head.] What do you want?!

[The shade speaks some more, tapping the mop handle with her hand. Cambot moves and pans so that it can show the two Samis. The look on the real one is one of horror.]

No... no, they wouldn't! [the shade chuckles and continues speaking.] I don't care if they're not like Tenchi or Ayeka! They haven't turned me away and they never will! [The shade grins as it lungs at Sasami, knocking her down. Cambot hovers back in panic] H-Hey! Stop! Leave me al-- HEY! Not my hair! Stop it! Please!

[And the shade hops up and lifts Sasami up as well, forcing her to look at Cambot, showing her pigtails undone and replaced with twin tails resembling someone familiar. As Sasami looks away, hurt, the shade tells Cambot something before subtitles appear.]

How can you trust someone when she isn't truthful about her identity?