Sixth Report

[sailormagic]

[Oh dear god who let Twilight into the cafeteria deck. Anyone going in there might find bowls - not cups mind you, or glasses, bowls - stacked on the counters, most of them with drops of dark liquid at the bottom. What in the...]

[As for Twilight herself, well... She's discovered what her power for this week is, after pulling an all-nighter reading and then downing six cereal bowls' worth of coffee.]

[Teleportation.]

Oh my goodness this is great isn't this so great [pop] I just think it's great I mean it's not all my magic but it's some of it [pop] and I haven't been able to do this in FOREVER [pop] and I can wink out here and be over here in a flash and oh dear I want to [pop] know EVERYTHING about what you all can do right now did you [pop] get something back that you already knew or is it completely random because [pop] I can do a lot more than this with my magic at home but here [pop] I'll take what I can get oh I can go REORGANIZE THE LIBRARY because it's not [pop] organized enough we can do so much more to make it efficient [pop] and I'm just the pony for the job because everypony knows I'm the most organized pony in Ponyville [pop] or even Canterlot or maybe even Equestria and everything is exactly where it should be [pop] in its own place and not in something else's place because that would be disorganized of course so it [pop] has its own place oh I can organize all your rooms I'm sure some of them are DREADFUL and Rarity can help me because she has such an eye for [pop] style so you won't even know your rooms at all anymore [pop] and maybe we could even paint them so what colors do you all want for your rooms [pop] OH I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT I was going to [pop] paint the library quick everypony I need your help moving the shelves since I can't levitate things now [pop] but maybe I'll be able to in the future [pop] if we're finally getting our abilities back but you have to make sure to [pop] keep the books in order because if I have to reorganize them AGAIN [pop] it will be chaos but just as long as everypony keeps every item exactly where it is [pop] everything will be fine and we won't have to worry now doesn't that sound great?!

[Every couple of seconds she winks out of one spot only to repear in another part of the satellite, always within view of a Cambot, because she's literally not stopping her movement and she keeps nearly crashing into walls until the very end when she comes to a screeching halt and looks directly into the camera with a big, disturbing grin. Apparently the coffee does things to her brain. Harry Dresden has had one last revenge on the Satellite of Love.]

[...Yeeeeaaaah.]

[Pop. She's gone in a puff of magenta smoke, only to reappear somewhere else again. Where is that? Wherever you happen to be. Be warned, if she lands near you (or on top of you), you will be getting 7,235 questions about what your current situaiton is. She will start to slow down pretty quickly as she crashes from the caffeine buzz, though.]

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

[Twilight pops in next to a Pinkie.] Oh! Hiya, Twilight!

[And then Twilight is swarmed by at least twenty more Pinkies, all greeting her happily.]

[sailormagic]

Oh wow Pinkie is this what you can do how do you do it do you just think of another you and one appears this is like something out of the Everfree Forest but this is AMAZING I wonder if you'll be able to do this at home I mean you're not a unicorn but this isn't magic really so maybe you'll be able to do it wouldn't that be great?

[sailorlaughter]

[And since Twilight appears to be having no trouble with it, all of the Pinkies start answering all at once. It basically parses out to:]

YEAH, it's easy, I just close my eyes and - [pop!] - there she is! Hi, New Pinkie! Hiiiiiiiii! It'd be TOTALLY great if I could do this at home we could bake so many cupcakes and have so many parties ALL AT ONCE and just run back and forth to every one so that nopony ever had to miss a party EVER!

[punsofiron]

[HOLY MOTHER OF GOD SO MUCH CHAOS between trying to parse that chatter and block out the barrage of noise from Twilight's mind and everyone else's for that matter Liz has a headache the size of the Satellite itself. She rubs her temples and groans.]

You had HOW much coffee?

[sailormagic]

[What noise from her mind? It's all going STRAIGHT to her mouth.]

Not that much I only emptied two pots or was is three it might have been three and you humans drink that much every day or maybe you don't maybe it's someone else but I've seen a lot of empty mugs in there so I guess some ponies or maybe people don't wash them like they should but I washed all of mine I promise!

[No she didn't. When she realizes that, she will be mortified.]

[saint_sami]

WHOOF!

[Aaaaaaaand, Twilight's landed on Sasami.] Twilight... ow... I don't mind the welcome, but...!

[sailormagic]

Oh sorry Sami I guess I wasn't watching where I was going was I ah-hah silly Twilight sorry it won't happen again I promise!

[She's getting off Sasami as she babbles. More like springing off, that caffeine is still smacking her in the face.]

So we can all do something this week what can you do can you demonstrate here I'm trying to observe all I can about what people can do so maybe we'll be able to do it again in the future or at least we can try it would be great if we could some of these abilities are so much fun!

[saint_sami]

[It's going to take her awhile to figure out what Twilight had to say, but she does figure it out and ends up brandishing an odd wand of sorts]

...looks like some sort of magical girl wand. I just... haven't figured out how it works yet!

Sorry, that image doesn't work ^^;;

[sailormagic]

Magical girl what's a magical girl is it just what it sounds like a girl that's magical? Does it apply to non-humans because if it does then I'm one too because that's my special talent, just like my cutie mark says! What sort of magic do you think you can do Sami because if you work it out I'd love to see some!

[...At least there's more pauses there this time.]

XD

[saint_sami]

[It takes her a bit to figure out what Twilight's saying - though it does seem that she's slowing down]

Oh, well, yeah, that's basically what a magical girl is... though, if I'm not mistaken, this one's more like a super hero. They transform, fight monsters and save the day!

[royal_sunrise]

[Well and here she thought Twilight was gone. Still, it has been years since she's seen her with this much energy.] Now now, Twilight. No need to tire yourself out.

[sailormagic]

[No, she's been buried in the library because the mun got buried by work and fails at life so sorry!. But she's still thrilled to see the Princess.]

Princess Celestia! Isn't this great I can work SO MUCH FASTER NOW this drink they have up here a friend of mine introduced me to I wish he was still here because I think you'd like him it helps your brain move quicker so you can think more in less time and if you're really good you can even move even quicker so you can get more done it's so efficient I'm so glad I know of it now!

[royal_sunrise]

That's great, but be careful not to drink too much. Sleep is just as important as your studies.

[sailormagic]

Of course it is! But with coffee I can study so much more efficiently it really is a wonderful thing! Maybe I can make it for you some time Princess, I'm not as good as Harry was yet but I'm sure I'll get better with practice, just like everything else!

[Yes Celestia, Twilight needs sleep. She won't... likely listen to that injunction, though.]

[royal_sunrise]

[Yeah except it's making her worry. Do you really want to make Celestia worry, Twilight?] For now maybe, but I'm not sure it will be in the long run. I really insist you should get more sleep. Rarity has told me you've been staying up too late and not getting enough sleep recently.

[itsjustamike]

Um...Twilight? You think maybe you've had enough coffee to last you a year or three?

[sailormagic]

Why do you think so maybe I shouldn't drink anymore but maybe I should because it's tasty and it makes my brain move so much quicker I think if I drink enough of it I might be able to see through solid objects I better go make some more right now!

[BACK TO THE CAFETERIA IT IS. Oh Mike. You got her going the wrong way.]

[itsjustamike]

NO NO that was not actually a suggestion!...

[More facepalming. Why does nothing go right for him?!]

[sailormagic]

[Because it's you, Mike. SHE'S OFF TO DRINK MORE COFFEE.]

[itsjustamike]

Maybe I should...try and put a stop to this...

[He heads off to the cafeteria...oh, this likely won't end well.]

[verygassy]

[Aaaaaand Twilight poofs in and out of the bathroom Minako's in while she's taking a shower and singing.]

...

At least stay for the chorus if you're gonna do that.

[sailormagic]

[SHE'S PASSIN' THROUGH, LI'L LADY.]

[verygassy]

[SO SHE NOTICED.]

[wavesinherheart]

[Fortunately, Aqua isn't doing anything particularly embarrassing when Twilight pops in. By the looks of it, she's heading to the recreational deck.]

Ah... hello.

[sailormagic]

Aqua good it's you you can help me come organize the library it'll go so much faster with more than just me and anyone else we meet on the way can come and help too because it'll be like a party that way and maybe Pinkie can even hang up some balloons and streamers so it's REALLY a party and what can you do this week everyone can do something different and I can wink out again and Pinkie can make copies of herself what can you do is it something big or something small or in the middle or maybe something HUGE that could maybe destroy the Satellite?

[wavesinherheart]

[There's a moment of silence as Aqua carefully parses out Twilight's words into proper sentences.]

I'm not sure we really need a party in the library. We'd only have to clean it up afterwards. Ah, and it's not anything really big. I just have my Keyblade back.

[thirteenth_brat]

[Incidentally, Roxas is on his way to the cafeteria himself, for tea and maybe a snack. Naturally, upon arrival he's a bit... puzzled but the bowls. Picking one up and sniffing it (a habit picked up from Sora he thinks) reveals that the contents were coffee. Who in all the worlds would drink so much coffee at once?]

[cleverkit]

Huh. I thought only Pinkie Pie could do that.