[The device has, by now, been hooked up into the main power grid! It is beeping, and producing flashing lights. Frank is keeping an eye on it since Pinkie said that he could. Dr. F comes up behind him, looking concerned.]

Dr. F: You shouldn’t go touching that, Frankie! You don’t know where it’s been.

Frank: More like I don’t know where it’s going, am I right?

[Dr. F and Frank laugh together over this...kind of terrible non-joke. Meanwhile, the device beeps faster and faster.]

Frank: Think maybe we should do something about it, Dr. F?

Dr. F: Ohhh Frank, don’t worry, these things tend to just work themselves ou--

[KABOOOOOOOM. The device goes off, setting off a matter transferrence and a storm of ions into the ionosphere! There’s a whole lot of brilliant flashing, a feeling like things are getting flipped upside down, and then--the whole scene changes again!]

[Forrester shows up on the viewscreen...unfortunately, it’s not the Forrester that the SOL knows, but instead Emperor Forrester. He looks very unhappy right now.]

Alternate Dr. F: Thanks to your little attempts at humorizing the experiments away, all the humans here on earth are un-evolving and starting to revolt, ya spoilsports!

[In the background, there can be heard some crowds yelling and chanting outside:]

Crowds: Dinos gotta go! Dinos gotta go! Dinos gotta go!

Alternate Dr. F: Soooo, I’m afraid you’ll have to die now! I’m sending my elite forces straight to your Satellite to inflict The Experiment directly on you!

[And then, Emperor Forrester shows on the viewscreen an image of the experiment that broke humanity...it’s the copy of Left Behind that Discord corrupted! The story reel is seething with chaotic power, even just as an image.]

Alternate Dr. F: And if that doesn’t work, we’ll just blow you up. So I’d suggest just taking a big hearty draft of The Experiment instead. Toodle-oodles, troubled poodles!

[The screen fitzes, and switches to a view that Rocket #9 is kind enough to give: it looks like there’s a fleet of fighter jet-type spaceships heading straight for the SOL! The screen flickers again, and shows Captain Salt Lake in his cockpit at the head of the fleet. He looks even angrier than Emperor Forrester.]

Salt Lake: I looked up my family history last night...it was you man-beasts that beat the crap out of Great-great-great grandfather Utah! [He pulls down his shades.] It’s PERSONAL now!

[An attack is coming on the SOL! If the lead ship gets too close, The Experiment That Broke Humanity will be automatically loaded into the theater! Characters can get into the subpods on the Satellite and try to fight off the attackers, but considering the dinosaur firepower, it might be more prudent to run! It’s up to you!]

[Down in Deep 13, it looks like Dr. F is still fiddling around with that little button that’s enclosed all of Deep 13. Suddenly, there’s a frantic knock on the steel plating outside the door.]

Pearl: Fraaaaank! Clayton?! Are you guys in there? When did you install this?

Dr. F: [Grumbles to himself] Oh, terrific, it’s mother... [he turns back to the door] Hello, mother! We just installed that today! What do you think?

Pearl: I think you should open this now! I wanted to talk to Frank!

Dr. F: SORRY, mother! Can’t seem to open the giant steel plating from nowhere! Guess you’ll have to try back another time! Like five thousand years from now!

Pearl: [Still pounding on the door] Claaaay-tooooon!

Dr. F: Noooope, sorry mother, it looks like you’re stuck out there until this thing gets fixed! Which does not look soon! [He slowly turns and grins at the camera, holding up the button.] You know, I think I’m gonna like some of these little gadgets! Nnnnhhnhhnhhh!

[Frank is still looking pretty crazy when he makes another call. He’s got another small box with switches on it...what invention does he have this time?]

Frank: So, you think you are smart enough to take down that dino? Think you’ve been eating your Smarty-Os this morning? Well, I’ve got news for you, Satellite of Loser! I’ve been eating two boxes of Smarty-Os every morning! Let’s see how you like my next little invention, shaaaall we?!

[Frank prepares to throw the switch again...when he’s interrupted by a knock on the door.]

Dr. F: [From outside of Deep 13] Fraaaank! Oh, Fraaa-aaaank! I’ve found something of yours out here!

[And then, there’s the sound of a puppy barking! All of Frank’s insanity and rage seems to suddenly melt away, and he starts to look like his normal doe-eyed self.]

Frank: ...Mr. ...Snuggles?

Dr. F: Yes, Snuggles, whatever! Just open the door so I can get in!

[A huge grin spreads across Frank’s face, and he tosses aside the device he built and runs to the door. It creaks open...and yes, there’s his puppy, barking up at him! He makes a squee noise and reaches down to scoop him up.]

Frank: OHHH MR. SNUGGLES! Yes yes, lookit yoooooou, widdle puppy of fwuff and wubb yeees you so cute! Oh you so cute! Who’s a cutie-bootie yes you are! Yeees you are!

[Phew! It looks like Frank has gone back to normal. Dr. F walks inside, dragging his suitcases and equipment while Frank coos over the puppy.]

Dr. F: Yes yes, whatever, Frank. Why don’t you go spend ten minutes with Mr. Snuggles, and then I’ll kill you.

Frank: Thanks, Steve!

[Frank toddles off with the puppy. Dr. F glares after him, then sidles up to the camera and whispers in a conspiratorial manner:]

Dr. F: FINALLY, I got Frank to open the door! Okaaay, so it’s not really his dog; it’s just a clone of it I made using my hyper-reality cloning probe. But I mean really, what’re the chances of that coming back to bite me?

[Frank’s back onscreen again, looking as un-Frank-like and crazed as ever. And it seems he’s built yet another weird device in the time he’s had...some odd transporter machine, controlled by a switch on the console.]

Frank: HAHAHA! Have you been enjoying my silence-enforcer? I see that you’re practically...speechless with wonder! Well then, I think you’ll really scream over my newest experiment! Or not!

You think it’s funny for puppies to get eaten by dinosaurs? Huh? Huh?! Well let’s see how you like it, you freaked-out maniacs!

[And then, Frank pulls another switch on the console and laughs maniacally. The SOL-tethered-transporter heats, up, and--]

[--Characters will suddenly discover a very large, very angry, and very hungry Utahraptor appearing out of nowhere on the Nature Deck. This creature will cause damage and attack characters with deadly intent unless it’s somehow stopped! Worst of all, in its arrival it seems to have gone crashing into the stairs and elevator, making all floors beneath the Nature Deck unaccessible. This means your characters can’t reach anything on the Weapons or Launch Decks...however they beat it, they’ll have to use what’s at their disposal now.]

[Pearl and Frank meet up once again in the middle of Deep 13. It looks like Pearl is heading back home now.]

Pearl: Well, it was SO nice to spend the time with you again, Frank, but I gotta be heading out now.

Frank: Oh, of course! And thanks for all your help around the lab, I’m sure Clay will appreciate how nice and neat everything is!

Pearl: Yeuh-huh. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot...couldn’t find the cage or whatever to that dog that’s been runnin’ around when I was tryin’ to clean up. So I just stuck it in the same cage as that big-fanged dinosaur that Clay cloned or whatever. Makes cleanup a lot easier if it’s the same cage and all. Again, it was so nice to see you again, Frank! I’ll be back soon! Buh-bye.

[With that, Pearl Forrester leaves out the door. However, Frank is left standing in the middle of the room, looking a bit shocked. His puppy...was left...with the meat-eating dinosaur?]

Frank: ...Mr. Snuggles?

[He immediately darts out of the room and into one of the side rooms. He’s gone for a little while, and then eventually returns, passing by the camera quickly as he crosses to the other side of the lab.]

Frank: Mr. Snuuuuuuggllllllles!...

[And he’s out of sight again. However, Frank can be heard calling “Mr. Snuggles!” over and over again with greater desperation creeping into his voice. Wherever his puppy is, he can’t seem to locate it. After a long time, Frank returns to the camera, eyes completely wide. Uh oh. He doesn’t look...well.]

Frank: Mr.
Snuggles?

[And then he ducks out of sight...]

[Frank is looking over some reports when there is a sudden knock at the door to Deep 13. The door creaks open, and in walks a kind of frightening-looking woman dressed in green, with glasses and curly hair pulled up into a bun. It’s none other than...Pearl Forrester, Dr. Forrester’s mother!]

Frank: Oh my goodness! Pearl? Pearl Forrester?!

Pearl: Frank! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! [She runs in and the two hug like old girlfriends.] How aaare you?!

Frank: Oh I’m doing just fine, Pearl! I didn’t know you’d be out here so soon!

Pearl: Ohh, well I heard that my Clay left for that dreck of a convention and I knew you’d be holding down the fort all by yourself so I thought I’d just come by and say hi! Maybe, yanno, give you a hand around the place.

Frank: Ohh Pearl, now, you don’t have to do that!

Pearl: Oh pshhaw, it’s nothing! I owed you a favor after you let me borrow that lovely party dress anyway!

Frank: Oh I practically couldn’t help it, it was your color!

Pearl: Haha, well, it certainly was! So! [She straightens herself out.] What’ve you got going on up there, you hard worker, you!

Frank: Hohoho, Hardly working, I’d say! Well, have a look for yourself! [He motions to the screen.]

Pearl: [squints up at the screen.] ...Huuh. Looks like you got some kinda wacky zoo up there at this point. Geeeeez, that looks gross and unsanitary. [She turns back to Frank.] Listen. Why don’t I set up cleaning up and organizing around down here, and you can start getting that zoo up there herded back into their proper holding pens or whatever? We can get a break for some coffee in a while.

Frank: Sounds terrific, Pearl!

Pearl: All right! [She claps her hands together.] Let’s get going here...

[Characters beware...looks like Pearl may be interfering a bit this week!]

[Frank comes onscreen, holding a microphone. He looks mighty pleased with himself.]

Oh wow, this is such great week for me! Why’s that, you may ask? Well, to answer that, I’ve prepared a little song!

[Frank sits down, and prepares his microphone. Then, he sings...]

Ohhhhh...
I may be evil, I may be mad,
But some cute things will make me glad!
Since the day I was booorn,
I’ve longed for my own unicorn!

Prancing through rainbow streams,
Poking little duckling dreams,
With their sparkly, pointy horns~
Yes, I am fond of unicorns!

Those ducklings do not interest me
Fuzzy squirrels can stay in their tree
Puppies and kitties fill me with scorn
Compared to a huggable unicorn!

I’d ride one over a rainbow sky!
Put wings on a unicorn and it can fly!
I will shout my admiration like a foghorn!
For you, the fantabulous unicorn!

Ohh, please don’t leave me lost and forlooooorn!
Just let me love you forever, fair unicoooooorn!

[And after all the craziness the spectres have caused this week, between fights, messing up the oxygen, gravity, and the nature deck troubles...it’s not until now that Dr. Forrester actually wanders back in view of the camera.]

Well Frank, I finally got that DNA recombined, so in a few months it should--

[And then he takes a look and notices everything that’s been going on.]

Wha--great galloping gravy, what in the world are you kids doing up there?! Are you...cloning? Are you EVIL cloning? There's regular doubles of people, but then there’s all those shadowy ones plus quite a few things on fire.

[He looks offscreen.]

FRAAANK! I told you to watch the experiments! I’m not gone for five minutes and everyone’s making evil clones where I can’t watch? Now how is that fair?!

Hey, all you losers!

I'm supposed to buy you whatever you like. So, you want something from lil' ol' me? Let me know, we'll send it on up. Gifts are on mom.


[Yes, Dr. F has been hypnotized by Minako with the 'Neil Connery' hands, and she has told him to buy anything for anyone on the Satellite that they want. It will all be on Dr. Forrester Mrs. Forrester's bill. Obviously, Dr. F isn't going to be bringing down the SOL, since he locked up those commands ahead of time. But if you want something nice and expensive from him, now is the time to ask for it! Please ask for only ONE item per character...otherwise, the hypnotism's going to wear off faster.]

[He's going to be VERY unhappy about this when he's un-hypnotized, of course...]

[Not that long after the fire breaks out on the SOL, the Mads decide to give the Satellite a call. Dr. F appears on the screen, looking highly amused.]

Ahhhh, nothing smells quite like Christmas spirit like seeing space nuts roasting on an open fire!

What's the matter, yule log get out of hand? I do hope you try it again soon!

[Frank is currently chilling in a makeshift fish tank. It looks like there is a whale tail crudely grafted onto him, which he is splashing the water with. For now being half-whale, Frank looks remarkably calm.]

Hey, guys. Well, Dr. F finally went and turned me into a whale. Really, I was surprised he hadn’t gotten around to this earlier. It’s been okay I guess. Pretty easy gig. Just swim around all day and sometimes I get shrimp. Yeah I’m a whale, but you gotta take the bad with the good, y’know? Roll with the punches. Shoot for the moon, and you’ll still land in the stars if ya miss. Yep.

…Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to ask for your money so you can save me! So, you wanna give me your money? Pretty pleeeeease?

[Frank appears on the screen...fighting his way out of a series of boxes and props that it appears are left over from Legends of the Hidden Temple. He's lost the outfit he originally left on his adventure in...and is now dressed as a temple guard, complete with feathers and green face paint.]

Frank: Heeeey you guys! Oh man, you wouldn't believe where I ended up in that adventure! I ended up getting stuck in this temple behind a secret wall, but it was okay in the end because a friendly lizard sent me back home! So I guess now that--

[Dr. Forrester then walks in.]

Dr. F: Wh--FRANK!! Where on earth have you been?! I've been looking everywhere for you!

Frank: [looking dejected] Well...you said I could go on an adventure...

Dr. F: Yeah well, adventure time is over, Frankie! I'm going to have to cut into your vacation pay with all the time you missed!

Frank: But then what am I supposed to do with this neat costume?

Dr. F: [he thinks a bit] Well, I guess it IS coming up on Halloween. Just leave that on and use it to scare away anyone who comes trick-or-treating around here.

Frank: [claps, all happy again] Okaaay!

Dr. F: [He turns his attention to the SOL.] ...What, you think you can come up with something better? HA, I'd like to see you try!