[A VERY disgruntled blue eagle comes onto the screen. He looks like he has endured all manner of terrible things. He clears his throat before speaking.]

AHEM. Hello, people on this satellite. In my brief time here, it has come to my attention that there are many, many things wrong with this place!

Item one: there are many here wearing highly inappropirate clothing!

Item two: there are at least three people here with blue hair. Blue. Hair.

Item three: Some robots made fun of me the moment they spotted me. And they did not look like productive robots at all.

Item four: The machine in the cafeteria shot out eggs at my face. This is quite unsafe!

Item five: There are several people here whose hair could poke someone's eye out! That is very unsafe!

Item six: There is a tiger roaming around the decks, with no animal trainer in sight! This is incredibly unsafe!

Item seven: There is a bright pink pony bouncing around and tying balloons to things! That is the most unsafe of all!

Item eight: I suddenly appeared on this ship with no clue how it happened, and I need to be home instead!

All of these grievances must be addressed at once!