First iteration

[fearmylaserface]

[Have a silver metallic orb with a bright blue light hovering close to Cambot, examining him carefully.] Hey. Buddy. Mind telling me where we are? I know I don't recognize this place from any of the memories. It's a cool looking place though. Love what they've done with the place.

For that matter? Who the hell are you, and why am I here? And I mean this location, not the existential form of the question. So no funny stuff... [The light quickly flickers to red, then back to blue.] Anyone want to answer me?

Comments

[itsjustthebots]

Woooah! You're like a really souped-up Cambot that talks!

[fearmylaserface]

... [Light flickering again.]

My name is Leonard Church. Not Cambot. Answer my questions.

[itsjustthebots]

Oh, okay. Hello Leonard Church! So, what questions ya got?

[fearmylaserface]

What is this place? Who the hell are you? And why am I here?

How am I here? This isn't any place I remember...

[itsjustthebots]

Oooh, ooh, I know all of those!

Number one: this is the Satellite of Love! It's up in space!
Number two: I'm Crow T. Robot! Even if I'm not a robot right now. That's not the norm, though!
Number three: Noooo clue!
Number four: Well there's some weird device thingy involved, and that's all we figured out so far.

[fearmylaserface]

...

Wonderful. Just what I wanted to hear. I'm stuck on some strange satellite. [Annoyed] And I'm stuck in this floating laser thing again.

I don't think this can get much worse.

[itsjustthebots]

Are you usually not in a floating laser thing?

Sure it can! There's also a bunch of crazy mad scientists trying to drive us nuts up here.

[punsofiron]

[Have a black cat greeting you on camera, good sir. That's totally normal right?]

If you don't want any funny business, then you're reaaaaaaally gonna hate this place, buddy.

[fearmylaserface]

[Tilting his body at that a little, confused.] Are you a talking cat? Or am I hallucinating?

[punsofiron]

I am this week, anyway.

Long story.

I'm Iron Liz. You're on the Satellite of Love.

[fearmylaserface]

I see.

I guess this might be better than the malfunctioning memory unit. Is weird stuff like this common?

yeah, you'll learn pretty fast that I'm a slow tagger ;;;;

[punsofiron]

Pretty common, yeah. Just a few weeks ago we were Pokemon and after that I had hair that would make Rapunzel blush.

No worries

[fearmylaserface]

...

Really?

[colorbymemory]

Cambot doesn't usually talk.

[fearmylaserface]

I see. Too bad. Talking is kind of helpful.

[colorbymemory]

It is, but Cambot mostly just helps us talk to each other.

I'm Namine.

[fearmylaserface]

I see.

My name is Leonard Church.

[colorbymemory]

Nice to meet you.

I guess you just got here? Has anyone else explained much yet?

[fearmylaserface]

Yes I did. Interesting place.

A guy named Crow explained a good amount. We're trapped here. Mad scientist bullshit. I apparently have all the luck.

[sailorlaughter]

Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and - awwww, you didn't turn into a human!

[The pink-haired girl that just popped up behind him looks disappointingly down at the cupcake in her hands.]

Well, that's okay! I can just make you a really neat party hat instead!

[fearmylaserface]

[Turning around, startled] What the-?

Don't do that. Seriously.

And I don't need a hat.

[sailorlaughter]

Of course you don't NEED one, silly! I just want to give you one! To make up for the Welcome Cupcake! You're not gonna eat this, right?

[fearmylaserface]

I kind of lack a mouth like this.

[sailorlaughter]

Yeah, I saw that! [om nom nom cupcake] But I give everyone here a Welcome Cupcake! If you can't eat it, you just have to have a Welcome Hat!

[She thinks a moment.] Or balloons! I gave Wheatley balloons when he came. He was a little round robot too, only he didn't float!

[fearmylaserface]

Thank you, I guess. It's a nice gesture?