[After Joel and the Doctor's transmissions, Minako looks up at Cambot.]

...He's...he's really only a few days away?

[Cambot nods.]

Well! You know what that means! We need to get ready! We have to pack up!

. . .

But first I'm throwing the switch because I'm not a cat and I keep tripping over things.

[Oh yeah, did we mention she was next to the Controller? She so is.

Switches pulled...!]

...Well, either I got drunk when I fell asleep or someone messed with the controller again.

[Hey, Minako! Why so bum?]

I still can't believe you guys coughed up cute live animals. Totally jealous. All I got was this thing attached to a cord--

[At this, she held up...this.]

--and a card that says "App Store". Its nice-looking, but what the hell am I supposed to do with this?! At least with an animal I know I'm supposed to feed it and pet it and junk!

...

Also, seriously, is the ship tilted or is it really just me?

Guys! italicsGuysslashitalics! The switch isn't stuck anymore!

[Guess who's at the bridge, with the Twin-Universal Controller...]

Only one way to figure out what else this baby can do! Maybe if we're lucky it'll send us home! Or at least stop this weird talking thing.

[And this, she pulls both switches...at the same time...]

Here goes nothing...!

[Well. That just...well. Here's Minako. Its been awhile, right?]

Sorry for the disappearance, guys! Apparently universe-hopping destroyed my room, so I just spent these last few days cleaning it up. But two nights ago, as I was going to bed, it got me to thinking that maybe some people were still bummed out by what happened. I mean...it might sound crazy, but I can understand the whole "turning evil against your will" thing. How that can mess people up. How...how you could wake up with yourself after turning against your friends.

[Is that a hint of sadness? It just might be. Some people might have an idea why.


Aaaand just as soon as its there it's gone again.]

...Which caused me to have this super-weird dream about our adventures with universe-hopping! That and...lack of sleep since I hadn't slept since we ended up in the evil universe. I...won't go into details about the dream, because it was really messed up, but I promise this is going somewhere so don't leave Cambot.

[Aw, man-]

It gave me the perfect idea to help people cheer back up! In fact, maaaaybe you guys should check your rooms to see if someone brought you guys anything while you weren't there~!

[And what an idea it was. People might find a cute plushie one of these in random places in their room. On top of a shelf, under a pillow, hiding behind your door...under your bed...the sky is the limit!]

[...Oh. Oh boy. Its Min-Venus with the bracelets. And she is looking positively eeeeeeeeevil as she giggles and smirks!

oh god oh god oh god please let this work please let people think she is this evil. So lucky her evil self just tosses her diary wherever]

Well. You boys up there really want pain, don't you~? You want...an experiment~~? I'm sure I can arrange for that to happen.

[Giggle~]

So, fellow Deep 13ers? Who here is feeling especially evil today~~~? Perhaps enough to help a girl like me out~~~~~?

[i.e. Here's to hoping she's not the only one internally freaking out by this turn of events.]

[Well, Minako seems to have recovered from the movie!

At least we think she has. There's a strange gleam in her eyes as she leans against a wall, dressed all in monochrome letter jacket, her thigh high pants and shirt. Of course, if she had any color, her letter jacket would be pink.

As her Cambot films, Minako crosses her arms.]

Hey! Dr. Forrester!

I have to talk to you~

[When the feed comes on, it's Minako. But...she looks decidedly...not well. At all. She's pale as a sheet, has black circles under her eyes, and said eyes are wide and bloodshot. She is sitting in her bedroom, in her pajamas, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth.]

Can't sleep. I can't sleep. They'll get me...they'll get me...

I can't let them....I can't...the rats...the rats...

[Slowly, she turned to the camera, her eyes widening even more.]

Sora...Sora...Pinkie...why...what did the rats really do to the Atlanteans?! And the Asian rat...the Asian rat...

[At this, Minako begins to shake.]

Sleep no more...Minako shall sleep no more...

[And...here is Minako again. Man, she keeps disappearing lately, doesn't she? And--what is that red thing she's tossing aside off camera? It looks like a mask--]

GUYS!

[...Well, must not have been important. That box she's holding looks interesting, though, and Minako herself looks fired up.]

Sorry I've been incommunicado, but this was super important! I was waiting on a package from Earth, and it finally arrived in third-class mail!

[And thus she unwraps it. One might notice that there is a sticker on it - a clue to the recipient. And as she rips open the box, her eyes widen slightly at the contents. It could be in awe. It could be horror. It could be both.]

Everyone...I have it. We have it. And there's only one thing we can do with it.

[And slowly she raises up the item in the box. It is....a video tape dramatically marked "THE EXPERIMENT THAT GOT KIND OF CLOSE TO BREAKING HUMANITY BUT NOT TOTALLY! DO NOT EVER WATCH!"

Underneath those words are smaller, less obvious words: "BE KIND, REWIND".]

We have to watch this.

[Oh hey, there's Minako! And she's dressed in a Servierre's waitress skirt. And she looks....serious. Seemingly uncharacteristically so.

Actually, there's also a huge pile of money behind her in her bedroom.]

Ugh! I work overtime at the restaurant for a month and earn all this money to bribe the Mads...and they send a missile at us. Well, then I'll just keep the money for myself! Jerks.

But enough small talk! We need to alter the course of the Satellite to avoid the missile, and also make sure Joel doesn't get killed! I'm not gonna die and I'm not gonna let any of your guys die either!

[She folds her arms.]

Gypsy, send me all the current power output schematics you have on the SoL's engines and adjustment thrusters, how fast they can be fired up, and how fast this bucket goes when at full thrusters, ASAP! Everyone else, we might need all the energy we can get, so turn off all non-essential energy sources and hurry!!

As for me...I'm getting out of these clothes. I've worn them for...uh...

[The serious facade cracks for a moment, to reveal perplexion.]

...What day is it? I kind of lost track of time on the Servo deck.....

[So of course Minako's going to dress up for this week. She was busy recovering from the horror that is Rael this past week. Cosplay is awesome and she didn't get to do it often so she's going to dress up. Like this. With muskets.]

This is totally AWESOME! Lots of cosplay costumes to choose from! I totally couldn't help it. The hat and dress and stockings are soooooo cute, and the guns are cool, and look!

[She holds up her left hand...]

It even came with a cute puppet! "That's right!" Heheheh~

So who's dressing up as what? Come on, I can't be the only one, right?

[Minako, you really might want to reconsider your choice of costume--]

[Hey look, its Minako....with a giant bright red afro on her head. And she's dressed up as Bella. And also has the black wig on at the very tippy-top of her amazing Ronald McDonald afro.

Oh good. She speaks in the flat affect everyone knows and loves, though its clear she's having a hard time staying in character.]

Edward turned me down for a date.

I guess I shouldn't have stuck that...

[She bites her lip.]

...those forks in the light socket.

[At this she turns away, biting her finger. Cambot cuts off just as she starts laughing hysterically.]

[And now we are in Minako's room, where...for some reason, the lights are suddenly flickering on and off. After several minutes the lights finally burst, turning off permanently.]

Wait for it...ok.

Ta~daaaaaaa~♥

[Suddenly, from the edge of the room, a bright light bursts forth, like a sunrise. Turning on the light transition lens, Cambot turns towards Minako, who is grinning happily. And glowing very, very, very brightly, to the point of rainbow glare coming off of her. Its basically like looking at a giant female-shaped light bulb.]

Hello, everyone~! I hope everyone's day is bright today! I don't know about you, but I think I am positively glowing today! I bet you all can't help but notice I have an absolutely sunny disposition! Perhaps for whatever I decide the skit for this story to be, I should engage in light entertainment!

[Twirl]

Maybe a movie by Thomas Edison~! He sure wasn't a dim fellow, was he?

Well, whatever I come up with, I'm sure it will be dazzling! Shining! Luminescent!

[Silence.]

...Bright!

[Buzzer.]

Aww, I used it already!? Shoot. Man...

[Her frown is erased with an innocent smile as she twirls a little bit of her hair.]

Hey, Riku, Sora? Mind if I talk to you guys in private? Just wanted to ask you something, and I'll totally set it up and everything~!

((OOC: Minako's power is basically light/wavelength manipulation a la Dazzler. Minus the roller skates and disco suit. Probably a good thing.))

[Its Minako the Paladin!]

GUUUUUUUYS!! This is so AWESOME!! I love RPGS! I am an expert on them!

I mean, seriously, I've got tons of them at home on my and my friends' game consoles - the Final Fantasy games, The Legend of You-Know-Who games, Dragon Warrior, God Slayer, Ultima, Fire Emblem, Riglord, Magic Knight Rayearth...

[She even owns the RPG and games she and her friends are in! Not that she'll say it out loud.]

[Unfortunately, she keeps going.]

...Ys, Chrono Trigger, Super Mario RPG, Mother, Legend of the Sacred Sword, Lufia, Breath of Fire, The Creation of Heaven and Earth, Dragon Quest, Shining Force, Phantasy Star, Lunar, Shining Force, Vay, Popful Mail, Grandia...hang on, I have a list!

[At this, she takes out a pile of papers and begins to rattle off the games she's played, owned, borrowed, etc. Eventually Cambot gets tired and turns the feed off.]

[Well, its Minako again. And she's wearing a black cloak over her head and body. And though she's trying to be cheerful and upbeat and seemingly oblivious to everything that's happened, one only needs to look at her eyes, during the moment when Cambot first turns on. to tell that, deep down, her smile is a lie - all the makeup can only conceal a puffy red face so well.

She looks, for one second, weary and indeterminably sad.

Then her eyes blink, and she speaks, her Cambot's normal subtitles working for her.]

"Guys? I know, um, a lot of stuff's happened this week. But...I thought about it, and we...really can't let what's happened get to us!"

[Even though, despite her best efforts to hide it, SOMETHING from this week has gotten to her.]

"So, yeah, I didn't get the movie done. But I figured I should still do something, so...!"

[And then suddenly, the trademark goofy smile of Minako's returns full blast, and she rips her cloak off to revea( OH GOD WHAT )

[Somewhere away from the Tom Servo and cafeteria decks thankfully for her in a random bathroom sink...]

Awwwwwwwwwww!! This is weird and isn't faaaaaaair!

[Frankly, if a...seashell could pout, this one would. As it is, it is trying to turn on the faucet of the sink. Alas, no arms, no luck. Thankfully a random hand pops out, plugs the sink and turns the faucet on for her, turning it off when the water is high enough.]

Aaaah! Thank you, Cambot...

[And with a flop the...seashell? splashes into the water. It glumly starts swimming in stationary circles.]

Why couldn't I be something people wouldn't be tempted to eat...

[Hey, its...Minako? It might be, but she looks different, with insanely long hair to boot. And a bit glum, as she is reading a letter in her room.]

"Dear Minako Aino, we thank you for your submission for the Guinness Book of World Records and that you worked hard to break the record for longest mechanical bull ride. However, due to the lack of a Guinness-appointed officiator during the proceedings we must decline your entry into"...buuuh. Not fair! I stayed on that thing for six minutes for nothing!

[She huffs as an animal brushes her hair and puts myrtle garlands in it. And we're not talking small woodfield animals attending to her, by the way. There are cows, dolphins, doves, sparrows, swans, lions, horses, vultures, snakes, and sphinxes all around her.


...Speaking of horses, also some of the ponies on the ship might feel oddly compelled to come and do things for her. Just as a warning.]

...I feel like singing something depressing. You guys don't mind, do you? Ok.



~Hey, as I sleep in the nigh-

[*KSHHHHHHH*]

Hey guys!

So I saw this mechanical bull...

[Oh no.]

And I decided...

[No no no...]

I'm going to try it!

[NO...]

But instead of just trying it, I'm going to go all the way...for the world record! In order to beat it, I have to beat two minutes and four and a half seconds! SO!

[And with that, Cambot zooms out to reveal Minako wearing this, sitting on the bull, based for the ride. A counter suddenly appears at the bottom of the screen.]

On the count of three, Cambot! One...two...!

...Mmmm...haaa...

[Yawwwwwwn. Streeeeetch. Eyyyyye rubs. underboob scratches Minako's back!

...Actually she's looking at Cambot, bleary-eyed.]

Mmmmornin'. I must have been really tired. I must have slept through my alarm...still kind of groggy. Eh...'s too bad, I was gonna do another Bella sketch for the riff toda-

~YO YO YO! WHAT'S UP, DAWWWWWG!~

[And it is at this moment that she is interrupted by a canine with a backwards hat and sunglasses and chains on.]

~MAN LADY YOU WAS SLEEPING LIKE A LOG!
I LIKE CAKE!
SO LETS GO BAKE
BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY MAKE NO MISTAKE!

WORD!~

[And just like that the dog is gone, leaving the half-awake Minako to stare at her door for several moments before finally speaking.]

Uh, am I still asleep, or did that just really happen?