Seven Cupcakes: Pony 101

[sailorlaughter]

Hey, everypony! Oh my gosh, I can TOTALLY say that now! Everypony! [She giggles behind a hoof.] Okie-dokie-lokie! I heard that a lot of you are having a liiiiiittle trouble with being a pony! So I thought I'd do something to help you all out!

[Cammy starts playing some music as the lesson starts. What, you didn't think it'd be normal, did you? He zooms in on Pinkie's hooves as she demonstrates the very FIRST thing you've got to know when you're a pony.]

Just put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

You just gotta get the right rhythm!
Just listen to Pinkie's little song!
Just flick that little tail and keep with 'em!
Your hooves will carry you all day long!

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

[Technically, what she's doing by now is more along the lines of moonwalking. Or maybe shuffling. But it's the principle of the matter. She jumps on a trampoline and starts bouncing for the next verse.]

Now if you've got wings you can beat
I've just got one thing to say
Well, don't be afraid - flying's real neat!
Princess Luna can show you the way!

[She hops off the trampoline to demonstrate basic walking/dancing/shuffling again.]

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

And if on your flank you've got a picture
Like a diamond or a star or a BALLOON! [She shoves her own flank into the screen, showing off her cutie mark.]
You know your special talent, that much is sure!
If not, it's okay, you'll get one soon!

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

[Ironically, the last verse is delivered while she's standing on her hind hooves, in true grand finale form. She drops back to all fours as the music fades.] And if you have any questions about anything else, just ask!

Comments

[salvagedlight]

[Well he'll go ahead and ask because - and he's never admitting this to the bro - Terra is right and his wings are getting really tired.]

Can you help me out with that walking thing? The song's nice, but I keep getting all my legs tangled up together.

[sailorlaughter]

Oh, yeah! Terra told me all about that! Just hold on real quick!

[And, in true Pinkie Pie style, it's not long at all before she arrives, looking up at Ven.] Wow, aren't your wings getting all achey up there?

[salvagedlight]

[And since he's alone now with an actual pony, he'll admit more weakness than he will with others - if anyone can fix this, it's someone who's been one all her life, right?]

Yeah, but it's better than breaking my nose!

[sailorlaughter]

Awwww, don't worry about it! Even Wheatley didn't do THAT, and he's never even HAD legs before! Come on down, I'll help you!

[salvagedlight]

Okay, but... you'll see.

[It's partially a matter of the body being unfamiliar, partially a new growth spurt he started, and partially that slick metal and horse - or pony - hooves usually don't mix. So when Ven drops down, he sticks all four hooves firmly to the floor, balancing his weight carefully and keeping his wings extended to help maintain balance even if they're not flapping.]

[sailorlaughter]

Well, you've got STANDING down super-great! And that's like the very first PART of walking! [She bounds over to his side, ready to grab him if he falls.]

[salvagedlight]

[Actually, he doesn't, as his legs are all kind of locked at an odd angle and he's shaking just a little bit. He needs to learn how to stand naturally, that seems to be the main problem. He doesn't trust the pony-body yet.]

So I just... take a step?

[sailorlaughter]

[She circles him with a small frown, trying to lightly nudge his legs into a slightly more normal position.] Awww, you're shaking like a LEAF! Here, try doing it a little more like this!

[salvagedlight]

I'm shaking 'cause I don't want to fall!

[But Pinkie's a good person - pony - and she just wants to help. He'll ...try to follow her advice, extending his legs to a more proper angle and not hunching up his haunches so much.]

[sailorlaughter]

But what if you just shake yourself right over? [She moves to his side, wedging herself beneath one of his wings to provide support.] Just try and relax!

[salvagedlight]

[And he'll take that support, and it does help - with something solid to lean on, Ven's definitely got better balance, but obviously he can't lean on her all the time. For the moment, though, he'll take a deep breath, hold it, let it out.]

Okay... I can do this. I know I can.

[And he'll take one small step... and then another.]

[sailorlaughter]

You're doing GREAT!

[She may be starting to hum the chorus of her song again under her breath as she walks with him.]

[salvagedlight]

[He can't help but throw her a grin at that - the song may or may not be helpful, but her attitude is. He takes another step and then another.]

So has anyone you know ever found it this hard to walk?

[sailorlaughter]

Nope! Not really! Baby ponies usually learn to walk pretty fast. And old ponies get kinda creaky, but they can still walk some.

[salvagedlight]

Wow, so I really am some kind of absolute failure as a pony. That's good to know.

[Oh well, he'll get over it. And more steps! The pace is a little quicker now.]

[sailorlaughter]

[She looks a little taken aback. She didn't mean that at all!] What? Noooooo no no no no! You're not a baby pony, silly, you're a HUMAN! Ponies always have four legs, but you're still getting used to it.

Anyway, all the other humans had trouble too. And the robots. Wheatley probably had the most, he's never had any legs at ALL!

[salvagedlight]

[Huh? Ven looks over at her in confusion, wondering why she's kind of sort of panicking, and then makes the connection.] Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that. That was just a stupid joke, that's all! See? I'm getting better!

[He hates making people worry and feel bad, so he leans away from Pinkie and takes three steps completely on his own! He is learning!]