Seven Cupcakes: Pony 101

[sailorlaughter]

Hey, everypony! Oh my gosh, I can TOTALLY say that now! Everypony! [She giggles behind a hoof.] Okie-dokie-lokie! I heard that a lot of you are having a liiiiiittle trouble with being a pony! So I thought I'd do something to help you all out!

[Cammy starts playing some music as the lesson starts. What, you didn't think it'd be normal, did you? He zooms in on Pinkie's hooves as she demonstrates the very FIRST thing you've got to know when you're a pony.]

Just put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

You just gotta get the right rhythm!
Just listen to Pinkie's little song!
Just flick that little tail and keep with 'em!
Your hooves will carry you all day long!

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

[Technically, what she's doing by now is more along the lines of moonwalking. Or maybe shuffling. But it's the principle of the matter. She jumps on a trampoline and starts bouncing for the next verse.]

Now if you've got wings you can beat
I've just got one thing to say
Well, don't be afraid - flying's real neat!
Princess Luna can show you the way!

[She hops off the trampoline to demonstrate basic walking/dancing/shuffling again.]

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

And if on your flank you've got a picture
Like a diamond or a star or a BALLOON! [She shoves her own flank into the screen, showing off her cutie mark.]
You know your special talent, that much is sure!
If not, it's okay, you'll get one soon!

Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be walking 'cross the floooooor!
Put one hoof in front of the other~
And soon you’ll be trottin' out the door!

[Ironically, the last verse is delivered while she's standing on her hind hooves, in true grand finale form. She drops back to all fours as the music fades.] And if you have any questions about anything else, just ask!

Comments

[yabigfurball]

[Well, that's strange. They sound more like moles than dogs, really.]

[Although, come to think of it...she has been thinking a lot about jewels and shiny things lately. She doesn't care that much about them normally. Ammy pulls out a recent drawing from when she was with Perry...just a whole bunch of diamonds and jewels on it.]

[sailorlaughter]

Yeah, yeah, just like those! I don't really know what they needed so MANY for, they all already had the collars. Maybe they eat gems, like a dragon! Are you hungry for gems, 'Nillie? [She kinda hopes you're not. She's not really sure the food machine makes those.]

[yabigfurball]

[Ammy shakes her head no. She doesn't want to eat any, they just...sound really fascinating right now for some reason.]

[sailorlaughter]

Well, that's good! I'm pretty sure we don't have any, at least not in the kitchen. Rarity normally keeps a ton of them for her dresses, but since she can't dig any up up here she probably doesn't have any either.

...huh. Maybe we should tell her you're a Diamond Dog now before she finds you. They kinda freak her out a little bit now.

[yabigfurball]

[That's fascinating. Now that she has much use for Rarity's clothes at all, but jewels in general sound way more fascinating than they should be.]

[Ammy tilts her head in confusion. Why would they freak out Rarity?]

[sailorlaughter]

Well, the only ones we've ever met DID kinda kidnap her. And make her pull a cart and dig. AND she said one of them called her ugly!

[yabigfurball]

[Ammy does look sad at that! No amount of jewels or diamonds justifies name-calling or kidnapping.]

[sailorlaughter]

Yeeeeeeah. But it's okay! She knows you're a good puppy!

[yabigfurball]

[She hopes so. She's been on the bad end of serious misunderstandings before, and it could be heartbreaking.]