[There's something coming in on the Hexfield viewscreen!

A little white worm that seems to be sticking out of someone's ear wiggles happily, as though waving at the camera. It's a little unsettling that this particular worm seems to have a smiling face...but it's even more unsettling when that smile suddenly seems a bit...troll-ish. And then suddenly, there's music!]

((LOL I chose that song because it's been stuck in my head for about a week. But believe me, it gets worse >8D))

 [A tarty silver-haired Brit pops on, with his slender back to the screen. He seems to be tinkering with something, shouting British naughty words as loud clanging and banging sporadically ring out. Sounds like a Looney Tunes construction montage, the bustle of activity and the sound of random tools being used, except no cloud of smoke. Oh, now there is. And Bakura is getting increasingly more colorful in his use of language as he throws down the screw driver and wrench he had been holding, which came from some inexplicable source.]

Bollocks, I don't know a wink how this bugga works anyhow. Stupid machine!

[He turns about and gives the thing a smashing kick, and near topples over the table beside him. The camera shows a view of the cafeteria and the food dispenser, which is sparkly and shows no sign of being tampered with, though this machine was obviously the subject of Bakura's construction efforts. The smoke dissipates and Bakura steps up to the machine with a set frown. He presses a few buttons.]

Bangers and mash. Get it? Long stick things of meat, and some fried potato, not cut, mashed, hence why it's bangers and mash. See, no funny business or--

[The machine dings and out pops a tray that stinks of dirty laundry and Bakura struggles against the machine in livid dejection.]

No, not a bong and hashish, please! Is that even legal? Oh, bugger.

[He tosses the articles in the trash and mumbles to himself.]

Well, I suppose I have to do it myself. Here we go. Meat, potato, what else? Oh I dunno. How 'bout soy sauce, butter, eggs, and paprika. I love paprika! Now.... I have to get the meat into bangers and the potatoes into mash, yes. Mummy used to cook with butter, so I should put some, no, this much?

[Bakura scoops a spoonful of margarine, that machine was just poking fun at him now, into the pan. He waited for it to melt, but then he realized he didn't turn the stove on. A few minutes later, Bakura is still wrestling with the stove and the meat, which the machine decided would be a steak, was leaking onto the counter. He cut the meat into chunks and started rolling them into cylindrical blobs, but they wouldn't stay so he just threw the tenderized chunks in with the mashed potato and butter. Then he tried to figure out what he would do with the eggs and spices. He decided to throw them in too, a few shakes here and a scrambled omelette later, he came up with a slightly burnt but still functional breakfast.]

Now, what about tea?

[He addressed this comment to the machine like it was a robot. Its response was to pop out a cup of cold Nestea, and Bakura was too tired after making a mess cooking to care much. He figured it was better than starving.]