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[thewallman]

[ Well, here's a familiar face! Or perhaps not, because he's been gone for a while. At any rate, there's a ginger on your screen, looking rather tired and a mite annoyed, at that! He gives the camera a half-hearted wave. ]

Heeeeeeey, guuuys. Miss me? Well, now you don't have to, because here I am! Without even a "Welcome Back" party, either. You guys really know how to make a guy feel at home, let me tell you.

[ He's totally not dripping sarcasm. Really. Please forgive him; he hasn't slept in at least a day. ]

There just wasn't enough going on back home, you know? Totally uneventful. I'm a teenager; I need some excitement in my life! And what better place to find it than on the Satellite of Loooove, with its dampening field and talking rainbow ponies and crazy experiments? It's perfect! And here I was just going to go for a midnight stroll! What was I thinking?

[ He throws his hands in the air and meanders around the hall for a few moments as Cambot watches, obviously trying to walk off his frustration. This was not supposed to turn into a rant. Calm down, Wally. Breeeeeeeathe. Okay, now try again. ]

Where is everybody? I haven't seen anyone, and I've been here for at least an hour already. Are you all hiding from me? Planning that "Welcome Back, Wally" party as a surprise? 'Cause I'm totally cool with that! Buuuut shouldn't everyone still be acting relatively normal? Like, you know, not all completely disappearing? Seriously, I'm starting to feel like I'm in a horror flick, here, On an abandoned satellite waiting for aliens to attack!

Or zombies.

Or zombie aliens.

[ He takes a moment to consider this. ]

I wouldn't put it past this place. Better go stock up on knives and forks from the cafeteria, just in case. Rob didn't teach me to throw Batarangs for nothing.

Comments

[optimistickey]

Wally! Woah, you came back! What happened with you?

[Of course, since humans can't actually understand Pokemon, all Wally's gonna actually hear is "Eeev! Vee-eevee! Eevee-vee-vee! Eeeeevee!"

[thewallman]

[ Wally just has to stop a moment and staaaaare. His manners aren't always the best, sorry. ]

Uh, hey, little guy. You escape from the nature deck?

[optimistickey]

[Sora looks a bit confused.]

No...it's Sora. You don't recognize me? [And this gets translated as more name-saying.]

[littlesun]

[The answer comes from someone who currently looks like this. Unfortunately, right now, he's limited to saying "growlithe" and variations on that, but he's welcoming you with open paws!]

[Chibi bounces from foot to foot, waving his tail eagerly.]

[thewallman]

[ Another one? Did the nature deck explode while he was gone?!

...Wally likes you, though, Chibi. You look cool. It's too bad you're not close by, because he might even like to pet you. You are a dog, right? Whatever the case, he's smiling now! ]

Now there's the welcome I was hoping for!

[sailorlaughter]

[And suddenly a Clefairy teleports herself right in front of him and starts bouncing up and down.] OHMYGOSH! Ohmygosh ohmygosh ohmyGOSH! It's YOU! You came back too! This is SO great, Kaldur's gonna be so HAPPY!

Oooooh! Here! Have a Welcome Back Cupcake! [And yep a floating cupcake just appeared too]

[thewallman]

[ Holy--! Wally yelps in surprise and stumbles back, falling against a wall. What just... What was that?! ]

Don't do that!

[ O-Oh, floating cupcake. Is that for him? He plucks it out of the air and eyes the floating pink... thing before him. ]

Uh... Thanks?

[sailorlaughter]

No problem! I've been thinking about doing something different for Welcome Backs, though. I mean, those hardly EVER happen, right? And everyone's always so happy to see their friends again, it's extra super-DUPER special! Maybe I can make Welcome Back CAKES!

Hey! Have you seen Kaldur yet? He turned into the absolute CUTEST little otter thing! C'mon, c'mon, let's go find him!

[No, she doesn't realize there's a language barrier yet. Why do you ask?]

[beforethemoon]

Ursa. Teddiursa. Teddi-teddiursa. Ursa.

"We're all in a bit of a bind, that party will have to wait."

[thewallman]

[ Time for more staring at the screen! This time, he's got an eyebrow raised in confusion, or perhaps fascination, but a grin that shows he's actually kind of amused at all this. ]

And now it's a talking teddy bear.

[beforethemoon]

Ur. Sa.

"Ha. Ha.

[solmidna]

[Midna smirks into the camera. He seems pretty entertaining, like Zidane.]

Lie. Lie-liepard. Liepard-pard.

"It's a good thing you didn't get here last week, Red, even though you might have just found us all snoozing. Who knows?"

[thewallman]

[ This is just getting ridiculous. Is this thing trying to say "leopard?" Because it's failing. But it's kind of funny, he'll give it that. ]

Man, just how many of you are there?

[solmidna]

[Midna shrugs; it's a bit strange on a Liepard.]

Liepard pard.

"More than ten, less than a hundred. Is it important?"

[halfdarkened]

Congratulations, you got excitement.

[thewallman]

[ Wally can't help it. This is yet another ridiculous looking little dude, so he just laughs. Seriously, what is that? A spiked, bipedal wolf wearing clothes? With sass? Is that what this is? ]

FAILED

[halfdarkened]

[And don't forget blue.]

[And he looks rather unamused. Apparently cambot was only picking up growls along with the mannerisms.] You can't understand me, can you? Grrrr rar grunt!

[He pauses a moment and walks back to his room, grabs a piece of paper and writes something. What terrible handwriting! Paws don't help. He then holds the paper up next to him. The sign reads the following:]

" <-- Rikv "

[wavesinherheart]

Mie. Star mie?

"Zombie aliens. Really?"

[Sadly, starfish can't really facepalm, but if they could, Aqua probably would be.]

[thewallman]

[ Whoa, a starfish? Wally's just had a baaad experience with one of those. But this one didn't look like it was going around and doing evil deeds, so... Okay, she was just a cool looking starfish. That may or may not be Atlantean. She looked it, anyway. ]

Huh.

[ Pause. ]

How can you breathe above water? Starfish usually can't last more than five days on land... Unless you are from Atlantis, and can breathe air and water, like Kaldur...

[ Pokemon aren't typically covered in your average high school biology class. You have to take a special course for that. ]

[colorbymemory]

Smeargle.

"Hello, Wally."

[Namine waves. Then, as she's figured out that there's a bit of a communication problem, she holds up a picture. Not a very good one, but Wally can probably figure out that it's a drawing of Namine in both her normal and Pokemon forms, with an equal sign between the two.]

[thewallman]

[ Pictionary?! He hasn't played that in years! Okay, he's got this. Nooo problem.

Okay. Girl equals... that. What? Okay, obviously that was the thing holding up the picture, but what did that even mean? He squints at a picture, trying to decipher the meaning. The girl looked... familiar, somehow. Wally racked his brain, trying to put a name to the, er, drawing, and after a minute or two of deep thought, it hits him. ]

Namine! Namine equals... you?

[ ...What? ]

[cleverkit]

You used to be here before? Huh, I didn't know that could happen...

[And of course, all this is coming across as a series of cute little "nya-nya-nyans."]

[thewallman]

[ Sure seems to be a lot of pink around. Not to mention the unbearably cute little alien creatures sporting the pink. Wally must have missed something good. ]

Pink alien kitty. Yep. Megan would totally love it here.

[acceptedburden]

De-wott? (Wally?)

[Not exactly the best time for a reunion Wally, but Kaldur is MORE THAN HAPPY to see you. Of course, at the moment, he's a blue, otter looking thing. But Wally should at least be able to recognize the eel markings on the blue otter's fur. Hopefully he can put two and two together from there.]

Dew dewott dew dew. Dewott wott dew dewott. Dew?

(It is good to see you again my friend. It has been far too long. Is everyone all right back home?)

[thewallman]

[ More of them? Is everyone on this Satellite a cute little alien but him? ]

So, if you guys are actually people like Namine says, you must be...

[ Wally eyes you for a second, just to be sure. ]

...Kaldur?

[ His whole face lights up almost instantly. Finally, things are starting to make sense! In a weird, twisted, confusing kind of way... that actually makes no sense at all. But hey, it's progress! ]

Kaldur! We must have gotten back here at the same time! Buuuut that doesn't explain why you're a, uh... little blue... otter thing, but I'm not?

[ Wait. This... is getting weird again. You can tell this is getting old quickly. ]

And why is it that you guys can only say one thing?!