5 Love Chains

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

[Hey, it's Mike! He's wearing a sheriff's hat, and yawning, looking positively bored. And sitting next to him is...Minako?

Well, it could be Minako, but she's wearing a red coat, a t-shirt, jeans, and a VERY black wig. Her eyes are unmoving, staring. Dead, even. And...she's driving a car in circles. An old red truck, of all things, with big round fenders and a bulbous cab. IN SPAAAAAAACE.]



*yawwwwn*...

[And then Minako speaks. In the most lifeless, deadpan voice one could imagine. And a voice like that coming from Minako is pretty creepy.]

Hi, I'm Bella Swan. So I'm recording my drive with Charlie, using Rocket Number 9. Space is black. Black like my hair. My hair is straight. I use Pert. Pert is usually on sale at Wal-Mart, which I just came from with Charlie. Only I don't call him Charlie to his face. I call him Dad. Because he's my dad.

Are we there yet?

[Minako turns to Mike at this.]

So dad. This car. It's an old car. I bet it's a Dodge. It rides like a Dodge. Mom had a Dodge.

Actually, it's a Chevy. (THEY'RE SO DEPENDABLE!)

[Those eyes. Those dead eyes. Whatever Mike said pretty much went in one ear and out the other. She turns back to the road, seemingly oblivious to the camera.]

I remember my mom. She had childlike eyes. They were huge. And brown. And she married this guy named Phil. I hate Phil. But I hate Forks more. That's why I use my fingers when I eat. Even when I use a knife. A butter knife. Even though I don't eat butter. I eat I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, which I can't believe is not butter. Its blonde. Like Charlie. Who I call dad. Who's a cop. Hey Dad. I bet you arrest people. You arrest people all the time. It's no big deal. I'm ok with that.

Huh?...Oh, yes. I arrest people allllll the time.

Yeah. My dad. Charlie knows Indians. He likes them. But I don't like the Indians. I'm a Diamondbacks girl myself. Because I love Phoenix. And I love diamonds. All girls like diamonds. Even me. Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Marilyn Monroe. She died young. I probably will too. The US life expectancy's lowered by a year. That's a year I've lost to Forks. I hate Forks. But I love this Oldsmobile.

Um, it's a Chevy...

It's like one of those cars that can get into an accident and come out of it with no paint scratches, while the foreign car it smashed into gets totaled. Because it was made in the USA. Just like my Nikes. If I wore Nikes. But I don't care enough to wear them. I just want to test this car out.

Nikes are made in China! Hey, what are you--

[The car is slowly turning, until, as the camera pans to the windshield view, the SoL is in the distance. There's a pause...before Minako turns on the radio and revs the engine. The roar the engine makes is utterly menacing. Or...the sign of a really old car, for an alternate interpretation.

Though the fact "Highway to Hell" is playing isn't a very good sign either.]

AaaaAAAAAAAHHH!! Wait don't-

[Instantly the clutch is up, and Minako slams her foot onto the accelerator, driving headlong towards the SoL. The satellite very quickly gets larger and larger as the car barrels closer and closer. Despite this, she still keeps expositioning over the very loud engine.]

This car. It's red. But it's got a hard iron grill. Iron's awesome. It's on the periodic table. It's a metal. I learned that in chemistry. Even though I hate chemistry and its required for graduation. I'm in the Class of '03. That's the year I'm going to graduate. And then maybe I'll go to college. But maybe not...but if I do...maybe Charlie'll finally buy me a Chevy.

AAAAAAH!! IT IS A CHEVYYYYYYYY!!!

[Mike throws his hands up, bracing for the impact. At the very last second before it happens, Minako blinks - finally - and turns to Mike.]

...Oh, it is?

*BOOOOOM*

[And now, there is a red truck sticking out of a large gaping hole in the side of SoL.





Someone might want to check on that. And also check on Mike and Minako.]

Comments

[iamaman-punch.livejournal.com]

Really? And here I thought it was an Oldsmobile.

[This does not disguise the fact that he is RUNNING to find you guys because HOLY CRAP MINAKO ARE YOU INSANE]

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

[Well, here comes Minako, all covered in soot and smoke.]

Wooooooah...

[optimistickey.livejournal.com]

Hey! Are you guys okay?!

[eroded-earth.livejournal.com]

M-Minako?! Minako, are you and Mike okay?! [isn't waiting for a response because he is also running.]

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

[Stagger stagger!]

Heeeeeeeey!

[whenflamesbegin.livejournal.com]

[Holy sea salt ice cream-What just-?!]

Bell-I mean-Minako?! O-Oi! What happened? You guys alright?!

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

Aaaaah, I'm ok!!

[itsjustamike.livejournal.com]

Yeeeeah, 'm fine...Satellite's seen better days, I think.

[itsjustthebots.livejournal.com]

Tom: That was SO COOOOOL!

Crow: Do it again, do it again!

[keeperonenya.livejournal.com]

What in Elbereth's name just happened, Minako?! Are you all right?!

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

Huuuuh?

Ooooh, nothing! I was just testing to see if this car would really come out of an accident unscratched like Bella Swan claimed in the stuff we read this week!

[paidinlaughs.livejournal.com]

...oh, dear.

[itsjustamike.livejournal.com]

We're okay! Nothing broken! I hope.

[punsofiron.livejournal.com]

JESUS, MINAKO!

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

Heeeey, Liz! Liz!!

It's totally true! Look!

[And...there's the truck.]

No dinks!

1/3

[liefeldisgod.livejournal.com]

[Have an excited 90s Kid in your face, Minako and Mike.]

DUUUUDE! THAT EXPLOSION WAS AWESOOOOME!!!

2/3

[liefeldisgod.livejournal.com]

[...wait.]

3/3

[liefeldisgod.livejournal.com]

Uh. Are you guys alright?

[sailorlaughter.livejournal.com]

OHMYGOSH! Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Are you two okay?

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

Pinkie Pie!! We're ok!

[bittyzo.livejournal.com]

[ffffffff what is this even? Have a surprised bitty, Minako.]

[itsjustamike.livejournal.com]

[Have a Mike covered in dust and rubble. Oops...that kid looks a little disturbed.]

Uhh...hey.

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

...So that's what it looks like when I drive.

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

...You drive like that?

[razthepsynaut.livejournal.com]

Holy -- how'd we even get a truck up here in the first place?!

*He darts over to ensure the safety of all involved.*

[hasthecrazy.livejournal.com]

Fawful liked the end part!

[itsjustamike.livejournal.com]

Oh, the part where we almost died? [He's exaggerating, really.]

[greenarcheress.livejournal.com]

[...Okay, a truck crashing into the SoL? She definitely wasn't expecting that. Even if it was the girl's stupid fault for crashing it, she had to check on them.]

Hey, you guys okay??