6 Apples

[alleyenobrain]

[Wheatley's tone is even and unexcited. It sounds weird on him. He also remains uncharacteristically still as he speaks to Cam.]

Right. There are fifty-three unique residents upon the Satellite of Love. Thirty-six are human or humanoid; thirty-six out of fifty-three is sixty-seven point nine percent.  Thirteen are animal or animalistic. Thirteen out of fifty-three is twenty-four point five percent. Four unique residents are robots. Four out of fifty-three is seven point five percent.

Plants are not individuals so they cannot be accounted for. Plants do not belong in space. Plants become jealous when left out of a population census. Plants do not have faces so they cannot be trusted.

Sixty-seven point nine plus twenty-four point five plus seven point five is ninety-nine point nine. We are missing point one percent of our populace. Plants are thinning our numbers to exact revenge for being ignored.

[And that, apparently, is all there is to say in the matter.]

Comments

[virtualunknown]

No more absurd than any of your claims, really.

[alleyenobrain]

My claims come from logical observations. The idea that a plant could form a bio-form with a proper occupant is simply science fiction.

[virtualunknown]

...right, then.

[alleyenobrain]

...Though, if plants were to try and develop such a method, it would only be cause for further alarm. We should take action before they can spread.

[virtualunknown]

[...]

So, what's your plan?