|| Sixth Calamity ||

[guardiano_perduto]

[There's something different about the Lombax's posture when he appears onscreen, sitting poised with a makeshift crown over his head. And the smile that spreads across his face isn't the chipper, friendly one residents of the SOL have come to expect.

Whatever was happening now, this new, Mirrored Ratchet was taking full advantage of it.]

Greetings, peons. I trust you've all been enjoying yourselves? That's nice.

This is just your friendly neighbourhood Emperor with a little head's up - this ship, and all of its inhabitants are under my control now. You'll find the technicalities included on your respective doors-- [In the form of a hastily-handwritten letter covered in soda stains.]

--and cupcakes are provided for those who comply. For those who don't, an agonizing, firey death broadcast for the entire multi-verse to see.

Good day.

Comments

[sunshineandcookies]

[Nothing to see here, just your usual skirted incubus walking around and comparing fabric colors to the walls.]

Does your evil conquest involve getting some real decor in here? This place looks like it doesn't even know what interior design even smells like!

It doesn't smell like sulfuric acid and hair gel, I'll tell it that much.

1/2

[guardiano_perduto]

One has to make do with these primitive resources, I suppose.

[Wait a second who the fack are you.]

[guardiano_perduto]

[And then, a hand comes to his chin, leaning over the side of his 'throne'.]

You must be new here.

[sunshineandcookies]

If by new you mean "been here a few months." I don't get out much.

[punsofiron]

...

No. Just no.

[guardiano_perduto]

Do you dare to defy me, you miserable little ingrate?! Perhaps a thousand lightcycles in the labyrinth will convince you otherwise.

[punsofiron]

One: I dare you to try it.

Two: What labyrinth? We're in Deep 13.

[thirteenth_brat]

[Guess who's not impressed... and needs to cover the fact that he's not mirrored.]

Riiiight.

I'll just have some popcorn ready for when the boss skins you. It ought to be a good show and you ought to make a nice hat.

[Hnnn, the sooner they get out of this universe, the better...]

[guardiano_perduto]

Yes, splendid, I'm absolutely terrified.

Why don't we have a word in person? Then I'll have something to send your 'boss'.

[thirteenth_brat]

[Roxas can sound evil if he wants to and the derisive laugh earned by the suggestion that they meet in person is a good example.]

I've got bigger fish to fry.

[halfdarkened]

[Not even Mirror Riku is buying this. He looks up and down at the broadcast. All head. Small body. ...Yeah, really not a threat. Riku leans back in his chair and rests his hand on his hand. He looks bored.]

...Honey, you know I can't eat that stuff.

[guardiano_perduto]

[Ooookay, we're definately on the weird-o-meter now, even for him.]

If you're willing to give in and make yourself useful, I suppose I could substitute.

[halfdarkened]

If.

[booyaka]

Yeeeeeeeeeah, okay. Someone's a few feathers short of a chocobo around here.

[And it's possibly not her for once. What's with the crazy emperor of death shtick?]

[guardiano_perduto]

I'm to believe that's meant to be an insult.

[booyaka]

Nope?

[Selphie doesn't do insults. She's just blunt.]

[wefallinsilence]

I don't recall any search for a new leader.

[guardiano_perduto]

And I don't recall asking for your opinion. Away with you!

[wefallinsilence]

I do hope you don't intend for that to be threatening.

[sailorlaughter]

You have CUPCAKES?

[guardiano_perduto]

Only for those willing to enlist in the eventual assault.

[sailorlaughter]

Oh! Well, that's okay! I can just make my own!

Thanks anyway, though!

[itsjustamike]

[Mirror!Mike, who is in charge of Deep 13 here, is obviously unhappy. He and his gold vest glower back, and then he breaks into maniacal laughter.]

Trying to ursurp the rightful captain around here, are you?

Are we going to have to send you off to a couple of hours in the AGONY BOOTH?!

[guardiano_perduto]

Rightful captain? And what have you done that's prosperous to this place?

I believe it's time to step down.

[punsofiron]

...

[gold vest.

Fucking. Gold. Vest.

Have a Liz facepalming.]