Venom Avian

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

[ The camera turns on to a loud Boom and a cloud of smoke exploding out into a corridor on the Satellite.

Coughing, Harry quickly makes his way through it, waving his hand in front of him and covering his mouth. Once he's suitably clear, he looks around, and spots Cambot with a exasperated expression.]

Okay folks, we may have a slight situation developing up here. So, apparently some wise guy decided to mess around with the food processor at some point, because I'm pretty sure giant venomous roosters are not the usual lunch special!

[Of course, there's the question about what Harry was doing on this level in the first place, which he'd be more than happy to enlighten you all on, if not for the rather ominous shadows now emerging from the smoke like a pack of some long dead predators.

Long dead predators that happened to be just under three feet tall. Which is still technically giant for a rooster. Also, there's the long vampire-esque fangs emerging from their beaks and dripping with venom. Now, sure the fact that other than the fangs and their height these roosters look indistinguishable from other poultry may make said incisors seem more absurd than intimidating, but that is because unlike poor Harry you have a screen between you and them.]

Clever girl. [Backing slowly away, his voice rising] Um, so yeah, I...may need some help. Given that somebody decided to take away my ability to Kentucky Fry these guys with a thought. And my gun. Not that I want to be a whiner or anything, I'm just saying I could really use a weapon right now!

Comments

[optimistickey.livejournal.com]

[Sora's still in his Purple Parrots shirt; watching the network in between the games. He looks really worried.]

What the heck are those things?!

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

A million rotisserie dinners crying out for vengeance.

[The lead one lets out a fearsome...squawk, and charges, lashing out with its spurs. Harry just barely jerks to one side.]

[optimistickey.livejournal.com]

[That's...not an enemy Sora ever expected to encounter. But it would still need to be stopped!]

You're in the kitchen, right? Get a knife!

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

Aaaah!!

QUICK! Distract it with corn!!

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

Where exactly am I going to get corn?

[Twists around a charging avian, coat whipping about him and confusing the bird. Ole!]

[verygassy.livejournal.com]

...

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

[And lo, seven seconds later, IN COMES MINAKO, kicking the door open!]

YAH!

[paidinlaughs.livejournal.com]

Alas, the stakes I made have all gone missing...

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure these things aren't vampires! If they were they would have shown up last week.

[paidinlaughs.livejournal.com]

They're still sharp pointy things.

[hasthecrazy.livejournal.com]

[Watching, rapt]

USE THE SPECIAL SAUCE!

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

The what?!

[hasthecrazy.livejournal.com]

The extra kick, with the oomph to it!

[wavesinherheart.livejournal.com]

Where are you?

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

About a floor up from the kitchen!

[Flapping wings obscure the picture for a moment, before revealing Harry batting two of the roosters back with his duster.]

Back off Henny Penny!

[wavesinherheart.livejournal.com]

Right!

[Several moments later, she comes charging into the kitchen with a decently sized knife that she's probably liberated from the kitchen.]

[punsofiron.livejournal.com]

[Suddenly, LIZ! Holding a frying pan.]

Back, fowl beasts! Back, I say!

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

[All of them have to pause at Liz's choice of words and just stare.]

That was eggcruciating.

[Twitching noticeably, the roosters give a enraged, BACAWK! and charge both punsters with a blind fury, apparently not being big fans of wordplay.]

[thrownoffgroove.livejournal.com]

...Heh heh. The roosters came alive.

[Oops, is he supposed to be helpful?]

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

This is what I get for trying to appeal to good taste!

[sailorlaughter.livejournal.com]

Try throwing cupcakes at them!

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

[There are so many things wrong with that suggestion, he doesn't even know where to begin]

I'm out of cupcakes!

[sailorkindness.livejournal.com]

[SUDDENLY, PEGASUS IN THE KITCHEN]

[And she does not look pleased.]

Now, what's going on here?! [Flaps over to the birds, glowering] You all! What do you think you're up to!? Causing such a ruckus, somepony could get hurt!

[The poisonous poultry gape at their sudden verbal assailant, backing away]

Now, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm very disappointed to see that the animals here are so ill mannered! You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

[She's cornered them. No attention is being given to Harry.]

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

[Apparently looks of complete and utter shock and befuddlement are capable of crossing the species barrier, because when Fluttershy bursts onto the stage the roosters and Harry both somehow manage equally gobsmacked looks.

Now, Harry's seen some strange things in his life. Really, it's to be expected when your business card includes the word Wizard on it, but even he has seen very few things that equal a adorable pink flying pony, who apparently can talk in a voice that sounds like it should normally be singing lullabies to babies, giving a bunch of monster roosters a tongue lashing so fierce and unrelenting that Harry, a man who has gone toe to toe with werewolves, ghouls, demons, and one very nasty dragon, finds himself frantically rushing to apologize.

And he's not even the target of it. Peeling himself away from the wall, he moves to the hovering pony's side]

Guys, if I were you I would do what the lady says. Otherwise I don't think she's letting you out of the coop for a while.

[game-over-pal.livejournal.com]

Oh. Venom Cock.

I get it.

[DON'T GIVE NO FUCKS]

[buildingproblem.livejournal.com]

You had to say it.