http://verygassy.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
verygassy.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
itsjustcambot2011-11-12 01:27 am
verygassy.livejournal.com) wrote in itsjustcambot2011-11-12 01:27 am
Entry tags:
12 Love Chains
[The beginning strains of music begin as, on the bridge, lights go up. Sitting there at the table, casually playing with her papers and glancing at a heart-shaped phone, is Minako, That's right - beehive, sexy adult clothing, glasses, bluescreen and all. Uh oh. We all know what that means, right?
Right??]
Good evening, and welcome to this week's edition of Love Goddess Q & A, where I answer all of your questions regarding love and how to make it work.
[Glasses are adjusted...]
This week, we're looking at the ladies that give more to love for men and women alike. These lovers are a ton of fun and know that fat is where its at. I am, of course speaking of killer whales.
And on the bluescreen behind her a picture appears.]
Orcinus orca is one of the most well-known whales in the world, an intelligent dolphinoid mammal recognizable for its unique black and white skin coloration. It's the face of Sea World and Jason James Richter movies, as well as one of the main characters of the romantic comedy Truly, Madly, Viking. And its the dating of one of these creatures that is the subject of this week's show. There are, after all, a few things a potential orca date needs in order to be successful.
[Click! Here comes a list!]
1. Bring the right kind of fish. Yes, orca love fish, and its always good to bring plenty. But their diet will vary depending on where they live. It is always good to ask your date what part of the ocean they come from first, so that you are stocked with the proper kind of fish when the time comes to have that romantic dinner.
2. Learn how to swim. Chances are you'll be spending a lot of time in the water, since most whales cannot survive out of water very long - orcas being no exception. If you can't swim, it is best to invest in floaties to ensure you won't flail around like prey. And not the good kind of prey, I might add~
3. Do not mess with the blowhole. While it might be a fun and tempting sexual idea to mess with the blowhole, it will not be as fun of an idea for the whale, since that is its only breahing hole. So please, leave the whale's blowhole alone.
4. Do not call your date 'fat'. It's an insult to all whales to call them 'fat'. Not only do they work out every day, any fat they might possess is actually called 'blubber'.
5. If you start hearing the whale talk to you in your head, be careful. That may be a sign your orca date intends to kidnap you and send you to another period of time. Of course, if you're all right with having time travel as part of your romantic date, then by all means, let yourself be taken away.
With that in mind, our topic this week is "Orca Your Heart: Killer Dates With Killer Whales". We'll be taking your calls all evening, so feel free to share your own experiences, questions and thoughts. Call in ladies, the phone lines are toll-free~
Right??]
Good evening, and welcome to this week's edition of Love Goddess Q & A, where I answer all of your questions regarding love and how to make it work.
[Glasses are adjusted...]
This week, we're looking at the ladies that give more to love for men and women alike. These lovers are a ton of fun and know that fat is where its at. I am, of course speaking of killer whales.
And on the bluescreen behind her a picture appears.]
Orcinus orca is one of the most well-known whales in the world, an intelligent dolphinoid mammal recognizable for its unique black and white skin coloration. It's the face of Sea World and Jason James Richter movies, as well as one of the main characters of the romantic comedy Truly, Madly, Viking. And its the dating of one of these creatures that is the subject of this week's show. There are, after all, a few things a potential orca date needs in order to be successful.
[Click! Here comes a list!]
1. Bring the right kind of fish. Yes, orca love fish, and its always good to bring plenty. But their diet will vary depending on where they live. It is always good to ask your date what part of the ocean they come from first, so that you are stocked with the proper kind of fish when the time comes to have that romantic dinner.
2. Learn how to swim. Chances are you'll be spending a lot of time in the water, since most whales cannot survive out of water very long - orcas being no exception. If you can't swim, it is best to invest in floaties to ensure you won't flail around like prey. And not the good kind of prey, I might add~
3. Do not mess with the blowhole. While it might be a fun and tempting sexual idea to mess with the blowhole, it will not be as fun of an idea for the whale, since that is its only breahing hole. So please, leave the whale's blowhole alone.
4. Do not call your date 'fat'. It's an insult to all whales to call them 'fat'. Not only do they work out every day, any fat they might possess is actually called 'blubber'.
5. If you start hearing the whale talk to you in your head, be careful. That may be a sign your orca date intends to kidnap you and send you to another period of time. Of course, if you're all right with having time travel as part of your romantic date, then by all means, let yourself be taken away.
With that in mind, our topic this week is "Orca Your Heart: Killer Dates With Killer Whales". We'll be taking your calls all evening, so feel free to share your own experiences, questions and thoughts. Call in ladies, the phone lines are toll-free~
no subject
Hey! So I've got a question...what if your killer whale date tries to eat you?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Hi, miss Goddess, I've just gotta say I love your show and I tune in every night~
Though I have a question. Say for example me and my killer whale date decide that we really like each other, and um...well, we want to go to that level, and well...say they wanna do the really weird stuff, you know what I'm saying?
So uh...what I wanna know is...you know, with the language barrier and possibly even being underwater...hehe, this is so embarassing...how do we decide on a safe word?
no subject
Simply saying "No" in whale is the best safe word of all.
no subject